


no parking on the battleground

by bobtheacorn



Category: One Piece
Genre: A Bunch of Dumb Platonic Shit, Drabble Collection, Gen, Some angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-19 20:37:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 21,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9459533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobtheacorn/pseuds/bobtheacorn
Summary: The good, the bad, and the - well, I don't want to say ugly, but... yeah, the ugly.





	1. hands and scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt was: SCARS.
> 
> /Chopper

All of the Straw Hats have scars on their hands.

They're mostly small, insignificant things - white spots and lines that you have to really look to see- but Chopper notices them immediately.  He has seen a lot of hands and scars while working with Doctorine.  He's stitched together any number of wounds and thawed or cut off as many frostbitten fingers, and he knows that each one has a story behind it.  These are all different, though.  These aren't the hands and scars and stories of strangers, these are the hands and scars and stories of his friends.

(His friends...)

Luffy is making faces at him when Chopper notices.  He's crossing his eyes and saying something dumb, waving his hands in front of his face.  The midday sun hits them just right, and Chopper sees them: the tiny discolored stripes, some thin and some broad and all of them bone deep, across the top of each of the captain's fingers.  Chopper bandaged those fingers himself, not even a week ago, so he knows that story well.  It's one of the things about Luffy that baffles and fascinates him the most.

The scars on Usopp's hands are pretty self-explanatory.  Chopper only has to watch him repair one thing or another across the ship once to know that he is a builder out of hobby and necessity and not as a profession, and he has hammered or nailed or sawed his hands on a accident on a semi-regular basis.

Sanji's hands surprise him, because it's hard to imagine the chef's hand ever slipping.  Still, when he looks hard enough, there are three of them that stand out - one on the outside of his right hand and two on his left, below his thumb and across his knuckles.  When Chopper pipes up the nerve to ask what they're from, Sanji turns his hands over to look for them, as if he'd forgotten they were even there, and then he laughs, pointing to each one, and says, "Zippo lighter.  Potato peeler.  Pantry door."

Chopper actually asks to see Zoro's hands, and the swordsman sets down his weights and holds his clenched fists out to be examined, silently, but obligingly, perplexed.  Chopper shakes his hands open and turns them over.  At first he only sees calloused fingers and heavy knuckles, but then he notices the scrapes on the sides of Zoro's hands, just behind his thumb and forefinger - where the guard has either broken or smashed against his hand.

Nami's is a line across the back of her left hand, somewhat wide in the middle and tapering out at the ends - the sort of scar a knife would leave.  Chopper doesn't ask about these, because Nami has lots of other small and subtle scars on all her hands and fingers.  Hers are the worst of them all (still smooth and soft with neat, trimmed nails, but unmistakably the worst) and that really surprises him.  Nami doesn't strike him as the type to be careless or clumsy.

There are even fine, off-white lines along the backs and sides of Vivi's hands; long stripes that all flow in the same direction.  She claims responsibility for these, herself, when he points them out - learning to swing her peacock blades took months and months of practice, she says, and in the beginning she wrapped them around her arms far more often than she hit her target.

Chopper's hands are different...

All the scars he has are hidden under the fur, even in his human form, and they are all reminders of that Amiudake mushroom.  He remembers the deep gouges left in his hoofs, light gray against the black, though the keratin has long-since grown them out and left no trace of them.  His scars aren't so easy to see...

But he's sure his friends have plenty of other scars that he can't see, as well.

 


	2. the parchment curls up in places

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt was: CARTOGRAPHY
> 
> /Nami

Nami remembers every chart she's ever drawn.

She has made hundreds and hundreds - thousands and thousands - of land-and-sea charts over the past eight years, and she salvaged nothing from Arlong Park.  There was nothing there worth saving and she wouldn't have, even if there had been.  Those charts had never been hers.  She put her blood and ink, her entire life, into them, but they weren't _her_ charts.  The way she sees it, she has eight years worth of lost time to make up for, and she delights in drawing out each crisp line again, because this time she _wants to._

She smiles while she works, now - honestly smiles - because she isn't locked in a room by herself, and not allowed to leave _for anything_ until she finishes what she's been put in there to do.  She doesn't go without food or drink, or sleep, or bathroom breaks.  She doesn't draw until her fingers bleed, and she doesn't get beaten for making mistakes because she doesn't _make_ mistakes and if she does, she takes a new sheet of parchment out of the stack and begins again.

These charts are _perfect._

They aren't stained with blood and the tears she swore she'd never let fall again, but couldn't hold back.  They're smudged by her wrists while she works, and by Luffy's arm if he leans across the table to talk to her, or Usopp's thumbs if he picks it up to see what she's doing.  They're creased from Zoro's rough fingers when he silently passes them back to her.  And if she's working in the galley while Sanji's cooking on an exceptionally hot day, the parchment curls up in places against the heat and humidity.

They're folded and creased and wrinkled and some of the edges are torn.  The stains are from sweat, not always hers; they're from orange juice; and tea; mustard and other condiments; she knows there are a handful of grease stains on a handful of charts from Luffy's inconsiderate, grubby fingers; there are watermarks; and ink blots when her pen has disagreed with her; and dozens or hundreds of other things because asking for peace and stillness on this ship is like asking for rain in the desert and accidents happen.

It doesn't matter.  They're _hers_ , and they're perfect.

 


	3. rising long into the night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt was: DISTANCE
> 
> //Robin

Robin doesn't distance herself from them intentionally.

She prefers being within earshot of the commotion, close enough to hear the jokes and jibes, the clinking of utensils and glasses, the banging of fists and feet against the table, and the loud, relentless laughter rising long into the night - but far enough away to politely get out of participating.  Her fun is in watching and listening to them, and in occasionally poking and pulling at them.  The captain, the doctor, and long-nose get her attention the most, because their reactions are always exaggeratedly the best.  Most of the time when a book is resting in her lap, while she sits in her quiet corner, her eyes aren't even drawn to it.

She's watching the cook and long-nose dancing and singing, with the tiny doctor in between them.

The captain as he tackles his first mate over a dispute concerning whose steak the captain has eaten.

(He has eaten a portion of everyone's steak.)

The navigator as she withdraws from the table before the two can extend their wrestling to include her.

She comes to sit beside Robin on the stairs, and Robin pretends to look up from her book and notice her, her eyebrows raised in silent inquiry.  Miss Navigator wordlessly sinks down onto the steps, a few below her, and leans back on her elbows, crossing one long leg over the other.  She sighs heavily, as if she's exhausted, and Robin rests her chin in the palm of her hand, smiling warmly as she waits for the complaint she knows will come.

"Jeez, they're so _obnoxious_ ," the navigator says, but Robin sees the amusement on her face and hears the affection in her tone.

She chuckles softly.

Neither of them would want these men any other way.

 


	4. multicolored bruises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt was: BRUISES
> 
> //the guys

After every fight, the men compare bruises.

Zoro has more cuts as souvenirs than anything else, but he shows a few bruised knuckles, a large purple mark on his left shoulder, and then he pulls off his boot.  He knows this one is what's going to win him this grisly contest and he props his heel up on the barrel, grinning triumphantly at the others.  Three of his smaller toes and the top of his foot are smashed, obviously (though only slightly) flatter than normal.  They're an ugly blue and yellow color, and the nails are cracked and bloody.

He's overly pleased to see the cook's look of dismay as he bites down on his cigarette.

"Shit, moss-head, what the hell did you _do?"_

Usopp curls his fingers and toes, grimacing as he stares.

Luffy laughs, "Man, you're foot looks _bad!"_

The swordsman grins.

"Yup.  It sure does."

Usopp's bruise is by far the biggest, though he wears it like a badge of honour.  It's dark purple against his skin, stretching across his back, from hip to ribs, around his left side.  Luffy, of course, marvels at the size of it and the varied, bloodied tones of color, and pulls the strap of Usopp's overalls down off his shoulder to see it better.

He grins and chuckles, "Wow, that's cool~  It must've hurt!"

Usopp plants his hands on his hips, looking proud and nonchalant as he shrugs his shoulders, "Yeah, I guess.  A brave warrior like myself doesn't feel pain, of course.  I would have never even noticed it if it weren't so huge!"

"Funny," Sanji says, grinning, as well, "I felt every one of mine."

He pulls up the legs of his black slacks, presenting an array of multicolored bruises that cover both legs, from his ankles to his knees, laying on top of one another in heavy welts signifying each time he blocked or delivered a blow.  Luffy is as impressed as ever.

"You've got tons of 'em!"

"It happens," Sanji says, his hands in his pockets.  He raises a curly eyebrow at Luffy. "So, are you bringing anything to the table, Captain?"

Luffy thinks for a moment, slowly developing a frown as he looks down at his arms and legs.

There's not a bruise in sight.

Usopp chuckles, "You're made of rubber, remember?  I don't think you bruise too easily."

Zoro looks curiously from Sanji's freckled legs, to Usopp's darkened side, and finally down at his own mangled foot.

It's hard to say who should win; the most, the biggest, or the worst.  Naturally, he thinks _he_ should win - just look at his toes!  They're not even the right size anymore.  He can still walk, though, so that can't really count against him.  It doesn't hinder his form at all, he can still put all his weight on it, and they'll no doubt even out again eventually if he walks on it enough.  The captain, of course, has the deciding vote, so Zoro looks at him and waits.

Suddenly, Luffy laughs.

"Hey, wait, I've got one," he says, fumbling with his belt buckle, "I've got one!  I forgot!"

The other three watch with growing apprehension and skepticism, arching eyebrows and leaning in - and Luffy's shorts drop to the deck.  The motion yields several cries of alarm from his crewmates as every man flinches, reeling back.

Sanji's cigarette drops out of his mouth, forgotten.

"Luffy, what the fuck did you DO!"

_"I'm gonna be sick."_

Usopp writhes around on the deck, groaning in sympathy pain, his hands between his knees, and Zoro sets his foot back into his boot, his face contorted in a wide grimace.  He is now wholly convinced that maybe his _isn't_ the worst of the bunch and he is extremely grateful that it isn't as he looks at the wide bruises stretching up the inside of Luffy's thighs.  The captain laughs, his hands on his hips, and tries to explain that he fell earlier and grabbed the mast with his legs - the other men protest and moan and they don't care about the hows or whys or what-the-hells, _he needs to see a DOCTOR, how is he still standing after something like that!_

From the galley, Vivi wonders what they're all making such a fuss about, and Nami wisely doesn't want to know.

 

 


	5. ungrateful bastard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt was: WATERMELON
> 
> //Sanji and Zoro

"Hey, moss-head, gimme a hand with these."

Sanji leans over the rail in front of the galley, looking down at where they're all sitting at the outside table, and Zoro frowns up at him, his arm draped over the back of his chair and his other hand gripping the handle of his tankard.  The look on his face clearly says, _Why should I?_ and Sanji answers the visual inquiry with an uncharacteristic grin at the swordsman, "Get your ass up here.  I've got a special one for you."

Sighing, Zoro shoves his chair back and rises, though he doesn't do so with any kind of enthusiasm.  He probably suspects this special watermelon is rotten - Nami knows that it isn't, and knows he's going to enjoy it, though she only grins at him when he passes by the table and climbs the stairs.  Zoro scowls at her over his shoulder, even more suspicious than before, and follows Sanji into the galley.  The two of them return with three large watermelons apiece, each more than twenty pounds; they set them out on the table to the tune of enthusiastic hoots from Usopp, Luffy, and Chopper, and Sanji starts slicing them into quarters as Zoro drops back into his seat, his arms crossed.

Luffy grabs at one of them while Sanji is preoccupied, intending to bite straight through the rind, and Sanji swiftly kicks him under the table, saying, "That one's not for you, idiot!"

"They're all the same, what's it matter?" Luffy asks stubbornly, his face puckered with indignity.

He clings to the watermelon, frowning at the chef as he rubs his sore shins together.

"That one is different and you won't like it."  There are several sharp laughs and slaps against the table that beg to differ, but Sanji continues slicing, undaunted, "I know you won't, now put it down.  It doesn't have your name on it, does it?"

Eyebrows knotted, Luffy looks down at the watermelon, turning it over in his hands.  Usopp is the one who spots the capital letter carved into the dark green, and he points it out, tilting the watermelon back in Luffy's hands, "It's the letter _D."_

"So it _is_ mine!"

"No, that stands for _dumbass swordsman,_ now put it down!  Here," Sanji says, sliding a platter down the table toward him, piled high with the freshly-sliced fruit, "Have at it."

Luffy does just that, dropping the watermelon into Usopp's open hands and grabbing at the nearest pieces.  The cannoneer chuckles and passes the watermelon across the table to Chopper, though it's bigger and heavier than the tiny reindeer and he starts to tip out of his seat under the weight of it.  Zoro rights him with one hand, the other slung across the back of his chair again, and Chopper breathes a sigh of relief, heaving the watermelon over to him and grinning, "Here you go, Zoro!"

The watermelon sits in Zoro's palm and he scowls at it, holding it slightly away from his body, as if he expects it to burst.  He looks at the chef out of the corner of his eye - Sanji is too busy slicing half a watermelon into delicate triangles for Nami to notice - and then he glowers at the navigator, who is grinning at him again.

"What's wrong with it?" he asks, "You know."

"There's nothing wrong with it," Nami says delightedly.

Sanji points at him with the knife, biting down on his cigarette, "Don't talk to Nami with that rough tone of voice.  There's nothing wrong with that watermelon; you're going to eat it and like it, you ungrateful bastard."

Zoro scowls and barks, "Hey, I don't -"

"Look," Sanji says, grabbing the top of the watermelon and raising the knife.

He slices off the top of it, exposing the pink, watery flesh within, freckled with thick black seeds, and the smell that is not just watermelon is enough to knock someone over.  Nami can smell if from across the table, and Zoro's eyebrows raise in surprise, his nostrils flaring.  His expression slacks into wonder as Sanji straightens, taking the top of the fruit with him.  Zoro doesn't move, staring down at the watermelon and breathing in deep breaths through his nose, filling his lungs with the smell that he knows so well.

"This is beer."

"Not beer, specifically, but yeah," Sanji says, "I've had that in the freezer for about a week.  You're welcome."

There's enough clear rum soaked into it to drop a Neptunian and it's the best watermelon Zoro has ever eaten in his life.

 


	6. his best stage whisper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt was: MUSIC
> 
> //Luffy, Usopp, Chopper (and Nami)

Luffy hears it on his way to the bathroom, and as soon as he realizes _what it is_ , he forgets everything his bladder has been telling him for the past ten minutes and he cups his hands around his ears.  It's kind of muffled, but there's no mistaking it, and Luffy grins as he casts around the empty storage room - well, it's not _empty._  There are crates and boxes, but it's mostly food he's not supposed to eat and some treasure, and the second refrigerator is in the corner, but that's not the source of the noise.  Luffy turns on the spot, looking up at the rudder line and the swaying ceiling light.

It's when he glances down at the floorboards that he realizes, obviously, where it's coming from.  Usopp finds him several minutes later, lying flat against the floor with his head turned to the side, grinning like an idiot.  Nothing particularly strange, there, but the cannoneer is curious.  He kneels beside Luffy, leaning down on his hands and knees and tilting his head to one side so he can look at him properly, arching an eyebrow.

"What're you doing?" he asks, whispering because Luffy holds up a single finger and crams the digit against his own face, hissing between his teeth.

"Nami's singin'."

 _"What?"_  The word bursts out of him in disbelief, louder than Usopp intends, and he cringes, bowing his head and muttering, _Sorry, sorry,_ when Luffy grimaces at him, his eyes wide.  Usopp lays down, pressing his ear against the floor to mimic his captain, and he listens.  When he hears it, too, drifting up lightly through the boards, he grins and chuckles.  "You're right!"

"I know," Luffy says under his breath, beside himself with glee, "I told you: all pirates sing!"

He turns his head so his other ear is against the floor and Usopp leans up on his elbows to look over his shoulder, using his best stage whisper, _"Chopper!"_  The tiny reindeer comes running at the summons, his ears twitching, and he looks at the two of them curiously.

"What're you guys doing?"

"Nami's singing," Usopp tells him, pointing at the floor.

"I know, I can hear it," Chopper says, smiling, and Luffy raises his head in apparent disappointment.

"Man, I bet you can hear it really good, too, without even layin' on the floor," he says, frowning, "You're so awesome!"

"Sh-shut up!"

Luffy grabs Chopper by the face and yanks him to the floor before he can start shouting insults and alert the navigator - she'll yell at them if they're caught eavesdropping, no doubt about that, and yelling and singing are sort of the same thing, but if he had to pick one to listen to, it would obviously be her singing.  It doesn't come with pinching or pulling on his face, and it's a lot easier on the ears.  Luffy tells Usopp with hushed, bewildered wonder, "She sounds _awesome._  Why won't she sing with us?"

"You're one to judge," the cannoneer says, amused, his face pressed against the floor, "You're completely tone deaf."

"She sings all the time when she's alone in her room," Chopper murmurs helpfully, lying between his friends with his eyes closed, happy to be included.

"We should start singin' in her room, then!"

"Luffy, he said _alone_ in her room."

"Well, we'll hide somewhere, like behind that bar or under her bed or somethin', and then we'll jump out and start singin' whenever she does!  She'll be glad we noticed - you sing when you're happy and stuff, right?"

Naturally, this plan is a lot better in theory than it is in execution.

 


	7. not quite a growl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt was: MEAT
> 
> //Ensemble

"Tigers are awesome," Luffy says, and there is a deep rumble of appreciation for the comment that vibrates up through his legs and his entire body.

Grinning, the pirate captain lightly bounces his heels off the great beast's sides, listening to the hollow _thu-thumps_ as they beat against the tiger's ribcage.  He swats the top of Chopper's hat with his stick, not hard enough to hurt, just for something to do.  The forest floor is dark and cool, dappled with the occasional swaying patch of sunlight that filters down through the trees, and the tiger's striped hide blends in with it's surroundings.  It picks its way along the well-worn path at a leisurely pace, bringing up the rear of the group.  Walking some distance in front of them, but still within earshot, Sanji grins, lighting a new cigarette and briefly illuminating the dimness.

"I dunno," the chef quips, snapping his zippo lighter shut, "I think I prefer cougars."

Zoro lets out a bark of laughter that echoes through the quiet and Usopp chuckles.  Chopper laughs because the other men are, even if he doesn't get the joke, but Luffy outright protests, frowning and brandishing his stick, "Tigers are better!"

"You're just sayin' that cause it's givin' you a ride," Usopp says teasingly, walking backwards to look at them.

"And you're just jealous," Luffy declares, raising both his arms, his fists clenched, "Cause it only wants t'give _us_ a ride!"

"I wonder why it's so fond of the captain," Robin says thoughtfully, smiling as she reaches over to scratch behind the giant cat's ears.  It cranes its head toward her, that deep coughing noise that is not quite a growl and not quite a purr rumbling through it's chest.

Chopper cracks Luffy in the knee with his own stick after the captain rattles the other one between his antlers.

"He says it's because he likes the way Luffy smells."

Grinning, Zoro says, "A carnivore can smell another carnivore."

"I don't care what he smells like, as long as they don't start fighting over a carcass," Nami calls back from the head of the group, her eyebrows knotting, "Make sure he knows there's plenty to eat in his lunch box."

 


	8. pulling the pipes apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt was: WRENCH
> 
> //Usopp and Sanji

Usopp shifts underneath the cabinet, raising his knees and setting his feet firmly on the floor to take some of the pressure off his back, lifting a gloved hand to the pipe above him.  Excess water wells up around the locknut when he grips it between his thumb and forefinger and tries to twist it free.  It's too tight and it doesn't give; the water sops into his glove, gathering at the bend in his thumb, and drips, catching him in the eye.  Usopp jerks in surprise and shouts, banging his elbow on the side of the small cabinet.

"You alright under there?" Sanji asks, leaning one hand against the counter.

"Yeah, yeah," Usopp says, rubbing his eye with one hand and holding his smarting elbow with the other, "I can't get this off.  Hand me a wrench, would ya?"

Straightening up, Sanji glances at the open tool box sitting on the table and the wide array of metal things spread out around it.  There are pieces of piping, springs, nails, hammers, screwdrivers, black tape, more gloves, and dozens of other things that the chef couldn't name if he wanted to.  There are smudges of rust and oil across his once-clean table cloth and Sanji sighs as he picks through the tin box, rattling the unfamiliar utensils.

"There are five wrenches, which one do you want?"

"It doesn't matter.  Uh... not the little one.  This pipe is kinda big," Usopp says, mostly to himself.  He wraps his hand around the pipe, but can't completely.  His middle finger and his thumb don't meet, and he can fit his other thumb in the empty space between them.  "Wider than an inch.  There, uh... there should be a wrench that's got an _18_ on the handle, hand me that one."

"I thought it didn't matter," Sanji mutters, putting down one wrench and picking up another.

"Well, I can probably adjust it, just gimme the one you have in your hand."

"No, this one's way too small, hold on.  Here."

Sanji sets the wrench in Usopp's open hand and it quickly disappears under the sink with a muffled, "Thanks."

"No problem," Sanji says, crouching down beside the cabinet.  He takes a long drag off his cigarette, holds it in his lungs, and then blows the steady stream of smoke out the corner of his mouth, toward the table so he doesn't smother the cannoneer.  "Need anything else?"

Metal screeches as Usopp finally manages to twist the locknut free and he laughs triumphantly, pulling the pipes apart.  He reaches out from under the sink, setting a piece of pipe out by his foot, and Sanji can finally see the hairline crack in the outward bend of it that has made his morning a shitty aggravation.  His pots and pans had all been full of water and were starting to form rust this morning when he'd come to make breakfast - he'd left the clean dishes in the drainer last night after washing them (laziness on his part, he's ashamed to admit), so the leak wasn't found until it was too late.

Breakfast is still on the metaphorical back-burner while Mr. Fix-It replaces the pipe, and Luffy is sobbing somewhere out on the deck as his stomach eats away at his insides.  Usopp gestures upwards, at the table, and says, "I need the other elbow pipe to put in here.  The one that's threaded."

Sanji stands and looks at the pipes on the table.

"The what?"

"The _elbow pipe,"_ Usopp says, and lifts the cracked pipe, "Like the one I just took out!  It looks like an elbow -"

"No, I mean which one is threaded?"

"Oh - the one you can twist.  It's got spirals at the end, that this thing goes on."  He holds the locknut up out of the cabinet, between his fingers, and Sanji hands him a threaded pipe.  Usopp takes one look at it and tries to hand it back.  "I need the quarter bend, not this one!"

"The _what?"_

"The pipe that bends at a 90 degree angle, _like this one_.  This doesn't bend far enough to reach the other pipe, see?"

Usopp holds both pipes up beside each other, level with the sink, and it's obvious it isn't going to fit.  Sanji sighs a line of smoke, snatching up the old pipe so he can compare, and says, "I'm not a plumber!"

"Well, neither am I!"

"Shit, I know that," Sanji mutters, picking up pipe after pipe.  Finally, he finds the right one - identical to the first, without the crack - and drops it into Usopp's waiting hand.  He leans back against the counter, his arms crossed.  "What do you want for breakfast, Usopp?"

"What?  I don't care."

"You like the cinnamon buns with that orange ginger syrup, right?" Sanji says, rubbing his chin thoughtfully and chewing on the end of his cigarette, "I'll make those.  And some apple scones.  Shit, but I'm nearly out of nutmeg, I think...  I'll have to check."

The pipes clank together, "It's fine.  Breakfast is breakfast."

"Yeah, whatever," the chef snaps, and steps over him to check the storage room, "Shut up and fix the sink."

 


	9. persistent discomfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt was: TORTURE.
> 
> //Zoro and Nami

"What an idiot," Nami sighs, her hands on her hips as she toes off her shoes, "You know you're supposed to lift with your _legs_ not your _back,_ right?  That should be pretty basic for someone who spends all day lifting heavy weights."

"Sh-shut up," Zoro growls, his face pressed against the sun-warmed boards.  He can't bear to watch - actually, he couldn't watch even if he wanted to, since he's lying on his stomach and that conniving woman is standing over him.  He feels unusually vulnerable sprawled out on the deck like this...  "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"Of course I do!  Don't you trust me?"

She sounds so sweet when she asks, it makes him regret every decision he's ever made up to this point.

"No."

"How rude!"

The sweetness is gone in a heartbeat as she steps up onto his back, her small feet pressing her weight against his spine, and Zoro instinctively tenses.  The added weight certainly doesn't hurt - it isn't even a nuisance - but his back seizes up again under his clenched muscles, sending a jolt of pain right between his shoulders.  Well, maybe it isn't really _pain_ so much as it's _persistent discomfort,_ but whatever it is, he can't move very well and that's no good...  Nami plants her feet firmly, but lightly, standing so that her weight is evenly distributed and her heels aren't digging into his back; something Zoro is surprised to notice when she shifts one foot up along his spine, the other resting on his lower back.

"Well, in any case," she says, smiling, "You can thank me with 150,000฿~"

Zoro groans out between his teeth and lifts his head to glare at the gunwale, his fists clenched, "I should've known!  Get the hell off me, you money-grubbing - "

"Loosen up would you?  I can't pop your back if you're tense like this."

"Never mind, I said to get off!"

"You're not exactly in a bargaining position, and I won't come down _one berri!"_ Nami says adamantly, and brings one foot down firmly against the flat of his back.  Zoro grunts, jerking in surprise and tensing up again as his back clenches painfully (yes, _painfully)_.  Nami continues, "I'm doing you a favor, you could show a little more appreciation!"

_"If you cripple me...  I swear..."_

"I hope you're not insinuating that I'm heavy enough to break your back."

He's swimming in dangerous waters, there.  He can hear it in her tone, though he doesn't see how her weight has anything to do with what he said or why it matters in the first place...  Zoro lays his forehead back against the deck, squeezing his eyes shut, and grits his teeth, "Just do whatever you're gonna do...!"

"You have to relax first, I already told you that," Nami says, exasperated.

She's asking for the impossible.  Her right foot shifts up along his spine, settling between his shoulder blades, where the persistent discomfort is, and her left foot follows it a second later.  Zoro forces himself to take three deep breaths and relax.

"Right here?" Nami asks, and bounces lightly for confirmation.

"A little lower," he says, around his teeth.

She shuffles down an inch, the pads of her feet against his bare back.

"Yeah.  Right there."

"Ready?"

"No."

"Alright, well, I'm gonna do it anyway."

And that's the only warning that he gets.  Nami bounces lightly again, twice, lifting her weight, but not her feet - and the second time she comes down, she shoves with all of her might against his back.  There is a loud, unpleasant _crunch_ as Zoro's spine pops back into the right place.  It pushes the breath out of him, but the relief is immediate and, honestly, a total surprise.  Zoro draws in another breath and lets it out slowly, raising his head again and pressing his hands against the deck to push himself up.

"Wow, that _does_ feel better," he says in obvious disbelief as Nami hops off of him and he gets to his feet.  He presses his fists against his lower back and leans backward - everything pops and cracks again, the way it's supposed to, and he stretches to the left, then the right, smiling because he can move properly again.  "Yeah, that feels great!"

"Worth 150,000฿?" Nami inquires, grinning, and the smile falls from Zoro's face.

"No.  You know I don't have any money."

"That's fine, I'm willing to wait," she says, so obliging and sweet it makes him ill, "You still owe me interest on the sword money you borrowed in Logue Town, anyway, so what's a few hundred thousand more??  But take as long as you want!  Really!  There's no rush, no rush at all~"

He comes to the conclusion, then, as he stands there rubbing his back and Nami saunters away, that she _is_ trying to cripple him in some form or another.

 

 


	10. a challenge loud and clear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enies Lobby feels!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> //Usopp

When Luffy says, _"Sogeking.  Shoot down that flag,"_ there is not an ounce of hesitation as he draws back the string.

Those words settle in his bones and fill him up.  They steady his heart, his hand, and his nerves, and if he has anything else in him in that single, quiet moment when he takes a breath, and shifts his stance, and waits for one heartbeat, it is _faith_ .  He knows what those words mean and he is still willing to follow Luffy's order, willing to believe that things will work out for the best, that it will be worth it, because Luffy is not an idiot, to risk their lives with empty words or threats.  He has seen Luffy take on opponents twice his age, his size, his experience - with the weight of everything on his shoulders, against the most unimaginable odds - and win against them all without fail, every time, _because he has to._

He risks losing everything in those fights, he risks losing his friends, and that is not a bargain that Luffy takes lightly.  There is no middle ground.  There is victory or the grave.  There is something that goes wrong and a way to fix it, someone that needs help and a way to save them, and Luffy is all instinct, from the soles of his feet to the ends of his hair.  He has a knack for seeing what it is, exactly, that someone _needs_.  He knows what you have to give and there is no give in him once he makes up his mind.  There is no going back.  There is no giving up.  Luffy sacrifices endlessly for his friends - his family, his crew - regardless of what it costs him in the end.

Without them he is just one man alone in a boat, with his dreams and his drive and his boundless love.  Luffy can love a person instantly, but his love does not come cheap or easy, by any means, and it is the heaviest, free-est, most encompassing feeling in the world.  For every member of his crew, he has paid a price, because he wanted to and they needed him.  Because he is the only one that could.  A set of swords for Zoro, (a village for himself), a restaurant for Sanji, a room for Nami, a flag for Chopper, a kingdom for Vivi - a promise for each of them - and now a challenge, loud and clear, to the rest of the world for Robin.

It says something for the crew that they don't say anything at all.  They all love and trust Luffy with their lives; they have left them in his hands before and he has never let them down.  Where the captain goes, the crew will follow, because Luffy is the one constant between them.  Nami isn't calling him rash or stupid, swinging a fist in his direction; Sanji isn't insisting that he think this one through; Chopper isn't inquiring or raising a panic; and nothing is expected from Zoro, regardless, because if Luffy is the heart of the crew, then Zoro is the backbone and he may bend every now and then, but he is just as unlikely to break.

They all understand.  They know what this is - what burning that flag will mean - and they are all so steady and sure, and maybe it says something about himself, as well, that he is standing here with them (and not with them, not really) and he is not afraid.  Maybe it says something (despite this), that he is the one that delivers the blow and burns the flag on the Tower of Law, at the end of the world.  Maybe he's listening, really listening, and maybe he hopes that Robin hears it, too, because they're giving everything for her.

Maybe he knows this, most of all, because he very nearly lost it:

That all they have is each other.  And their Love.

And what is the World, compared to that?

 

 


	11. several small portions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Sanji (and Franky)

Sanji has worked in a seafaring restaurant over half of his life, so feeding a large crowd is nothing he's never dealt with before (and this crowd seems to be getting bigger with every island they disembark on).  It's actually something he thrives on.  If he didn't love being in the kitchen, he wouldn't be who he is, and he wouldn't trade this crew off for anything - save the shitty swordsman, though you couldn't get more than a head of cabbage for his lazy, directionless ass, even on a good day.  It took him a while to get into the swing of sustaining an appetite as unrelenting as Luffy's, but it was a welcome challenge.

By the time they set sail on the Sunny, months have passed, and Sanji has all but perfected his schedule.

Breakfast is big meal number one, bright and early with the entire crew once the anchor is raised and the sails are set.  Requests are usually taken the night before (Ladies only, but more often than not everyone has something to say about it), revised during preparations because sleep tends to change everyone's mind.  Something warm and filling to get the day started - usually light and sweet, but not too sweet - something that won't linger on the pallet.

Brunch falls a short hour or two after the first meal; Luffy has dubbed it "second-breakfast" and Sanji thinks that he can call it whatever he wants, even if it's something stupid, because he's typically the only one that eats it.  Occasionally, moss-head will put in a gruff request, which Sanji will decline on principle, but fix anyway.  This usually consists of several small portions (that go well with beer), packed with protein and greens (whether Luffy likes it or not), because those two idiots burn so much energy.

Lunch is in the early afternoon, with everyone at the table.  Sanji tends to plan this meal in advance, sometimes as early as the day before, because there are two-to-three courses that come with it and there are dozens of tiny elements that go into each dish for each person.  This relies heavily on what he has in the store room or freezer at the time, what the others drag in from the sea, and what they (the Ladies) are in the mood for; starter is usually a light soup, if the weather is cool enough.

Tea - "second-lunch" - is cakes, cookies, sandwiches, or anything else small and snack-related that Sanji can make to tide over the yammering masses (Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper) a few extra hours.  Occasionally, when the madness strikes him, he tries to do something fun (and  _ simple _ ,  _ very simple, _ that even those idiots can't screw up) that will occupy their time, as well as their stomachs, to keep them from annoying the Ladies too much.  There is tea and coffee for Nami and Robin respectively, served at their leisure (provided he isn't supervising the idiots).

Dinner is the last main meal of the day, and definitely the largest and rowdiest, with a minimum of three (maximum of five) courses.  Meat, meat, and more meat (Sanji thinks, sometimes, that there are just not enough fish in the sea to last Luffy an entire lifetime), and Sanji prepares everything around the previous meals of the day.  It's unsettling to just jump around from spicy to sweet, from cold to hot, from light to hearty, and Sanji doesn't have it in him to make an unsettling meal.

Finally, there is a midnight snack that will actually be eaten anywhere between midnight and two in the morning, depending on if there's dessert with dinner, because it is impossible for Luffy to go more than 5-to-8 hours without eating something.  The kitchen and crew tend to suffer when he does.  Sanji is in the midst of searing thick slices of Neptunian (marinated in his special barbeque sauce since they wrestled it from the sea) for the captain's nightly lunch box when Franky leans into the galley, his hands on his hips.

Sanji glances up at him, and the cyborg straightens out of the inquisitive pose, "Thought I smelled somethin' good.  You cookin' again, twirly-brows?"

Somehow, that only sounds like an insult when the swordsman is saying it.

"That stomach with legs will eat again before breakfast," Sanji says, shifting a spatula through the meat and sparse vegetables communing in the skillet.  It feels good to be in a kitchen again -  _ his kitchen _ \- and he doesn't mind the extra work.

_ "Again?" _ Franky asks incredulously, leaning an elbow against the bar.  He seems to reconsider as he settles into his seat.  "Can't say I'm surprised, I guess.  But we just left my hometown behind earlier today, and this is the fourth meal I've seen you make since then - you're gonna wear this kitchen out, man."

He seems delighted with the prospect, and Sanji chuckles.

"I'd rather Luffy not try to chew through the door on that nice new freezer right away."

"Ah, I think it'll hold up against him," the shipwright says, grinning, with nothing but faith in his handiwork.

"You haven't seen him when he's hungry," Sanji says, matching the grin.  He lifts the skillet off the stove, holding it out to the side as he stoops to retrieve a deep bento box out of one of the bottom cabinets (has he mentioned how much he loves all this cabinet - not to mention  _ counter _ \- space?).  He shakes the skillet and flicks his wrist as he straightens, the contents lurking upwards, flipping, and tucking back into the skillet with a renewed sizzle.  Sanji sets the bento box up on the counter in front of Franky, tapping it lightly against the tiles.  "This right here will save us both a lot of grief.  I promise."

He glances into his skillet, this time shakes everything around again under an assessing eye, and then transfers the steaming chunks of meat, hidden vegetables, and thick barbecue sauce into the bento box with one scrape of the spatula.  The skillet is returned to the hot eye and Sanji takes the time to turn his sleeves up again, where they've started to slip from his elbows.  He raises an eyebrow at Franky, reaching across the counter for the massive bowl of remaining marinated-Neptunian.

"You want one?"

"Hm?"

"You want a midnight snack box?"

Franky grins.

"Sure, why not!" he says, striking a half-pose on the bench, with his arms thrust out to one side, "My appetite is SUPER this week!  Throw some cheese in there for me, too, would you, bro?  And those string potatoes you made for lunch."

"You got it," Sanji says, and the meat sizzles in the skillet.

 


	12. residual bursts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Chopper, Luffy and Usopp

They've been gone from Drum Island for only a day, now, and they are still near enough to get some residual bursts of the cold weather that Chopper knows he is going to miss.  The snow falls thick and heavy, disappearing into the churning ocean waves and settling on the deck.  Usopp is the only one with sense enough to bundle up before he and Luffy burst out into the high drifts, laughing and shouting and rolling in the freshly-laid snow that is already gathering around their knees.  Chopper follows them a bit more slowly, enjoying the cool air.

He's still kind of hesitant about joining in.

So, he sits contentedly on the sidelines for a while, where Zoro is leaned up against the gunwale taking a nap (even though Chopper has tried, without results, to wake him and ask him to go inside before he catches a cold or frostbite).  The tiny reindeer smiles and giggles quietly to himself as he watches Usopp and Luffy play together.

That is, until he notices the snow Usopp is pilling up start to take a more defined shape, and Luffy patting together a bunch of snow of his own, jamming a stick from who-knows where down into the side of it once he's satisfied it's the right size.  Luffy laughs, pointing at Usopp's sculpture, and says it looks stupid; Usopp tells him that he just can't appreciate this sort of thing and that  _ his  _ snowman is too lumpy and not intimidating in the slightest.  Chopper realizes what they're doing, and they're obviously having so much fun, and his heart beats a little faster the longer he watches.  He slips off the gunwale, using the snoring swordsman's shoulder as a stepladder, and he bounds across the snowy deck.

"Luffy," he says breathlessly, pausing on the other side of the soon-to-be snowman that is already twice his size.  Luffy leans over the top of it, grinning down at him, and Chopper taps his hooves together nervously, and gathers the courage to grin back and say, "I... I've always wanted to build a snowman... with my friends!"

Luffy laughs, "Well, go ahead, dummy, there's plenty of snow~"

He sets up another ball of snow, this one smaller and lumpier than the one underneath, and Luffy has to mash it down quite a bit before it decides to sit where he wants it to.  Chopper hesitates, shuffling his feet in the snow, and then he comes around the snowman to stand between Luffy and Usopp.

"Could..." Chopper pipes up, and they look at him again as he turns to look at both of them.  He can't believe this.  He can't believe he gets to ask, "Could we build one... together?  Could the three of us build a snowman together?"

Luffy grins again, broader than ever - but Usopp is the one who answers.

He stands, tall and imposing, declaring with great, enthusiastic authority,  _ "Of course we can!" _  The sharpshooter scrambles out of the way with a yelp of surprise as Luffy hefts his own snowman up with a roar, in all it's lumpy, bulky glory, and hurls it at Usopp's delicate sculpture-of-a-lady-at-sea.  The two crumble down together, Usopp skidding aside in the snow, and Luffy laughs loudly, doubling over, his bare hands scooping out another ball of snow and packing it together.

"Let's make a great big one, then," the captain says.

"Can we put a hat on it when we're finished??" Chopper asks eagerly, trying to pack a bunch of snow on his own with his small hooves, "And a pipe?  And a carrot for the nose?"

"We'll give him a scarf, too!" Usopp says, brushing the snow off his parka, cool and nonchalant, "Don't want him to get cold!"

"That's brilliant, Usopp!!" Chopper says, beaming, with stars in his eyes.

Luffy shows him how to start a snowball rolling properly; Usopp shows him how to smooth and pack the edges so it doesn't fall apart.  And the snowman they end up with is nothing like what Chopper has ever imagined before (and he has privately imagined it for a long, long time).  It is wide and lumpy - despite his and Usopp's best attempts to smooth it out - adorned with Usopp's scarf, the stick-arms from Luffy's previous snowman, and a bunch of buttons secretly and unwisely taken off one of Nami's many blouses.  It's taller than the galley deck, and Chopper has to stand on his toes in Heavy Point in order to place the straw-hat on top of it's head while Usopp and Luffy stand on the deck below, grinning and looking proud of themselves.

Chopper smiles behind his hands.

This is the best snowman he's ever seen.  Ever.

Even after Sanji comes out of the galley, idly trailing smoke, and puts his foot through it's face for obstructing the Ladies' view.

 


	13. absolutely not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Zoro

Zoro is willing to go a few days without food.

It happens sometimes when you're at sea; no sense in worrying about it.

But he is not going to go without beer, too.

No.

Absolutely not.

Beer without food is fine, and food without beer is a nuisance, but at least there's something in your stomach - but not both at once.  Hell no.

Zoro comes up from below deck that morning, knowing there isn't going to be any breakfast and that he drank up the last of his beer the night before, and he crosses over to where Usopp is crouched by the gunwale with his tackle box and the captain.  (The useless love-cook is busy rifling through their supplies, again, to see if he can at least scrounge up anything for Nami, but Zoro doesn't get his hopes up in that regard.)  Usopp yawns widely and rubs his eyes, but his fingers are as sure as ever as he ties a new hook to the end of his line.  Luffy stands over him, stifling a yawn of his own and waiting to be handed a fishing pole.

"Y'know, we could probably catch something if you wouldn't eat all the bait, Luffy," the sharpshooter is saying, not for the first time, looking meaningfully over his shoulder, "How you can stomach all those worms and bugs, though, is completely beyond me...  I mean, I'm hungry, but I don't think I'm  _ that _ hungry."

"They don't squirm as much once you get 'em down," Luffy says dejectedly, and rubs his empty stomach, because that was yesterday's meal-of-desperation and now they're down to forbidden tangerines and he doesn't know how forgiving Nami is feeling today.

Usopp grimaces, shaking his head, but doesn't comment, focused as he is on knotting the hook properly so it doesn't slip off if they do happen to catch something.  Zoro comes to stand beside them, then, propping his three swords up against the gunwale.

"Get me a rope, would you, Usopp?"

"A rope?" Usopp asks, bewildered, looking up at him and raising an eyebrow.

He sets his fishing pole down, making sure to lay the hook back in the tackle box so some idiot (Luffy) doesn't step on it, and then goes into the forecastle to find some extra rope.  Zoro kicks off his boots, pulling off his shirt, then haramaki, and Luffy brightens up considerably as he picks up his white sword and steps up onto the gunwale.

"Zoro, you gonna fish with us??"

" _ I'm  _ fishing.  You're gonna pull it up."

"Only if you don't forget which way is up when you get down there," Luffy says, grinning, but he's shaking with anticipation because he knows there's going to be breakfast this morning, regardless of whether Zoro gets lost or not.

 


	14. very sturdy dudes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Franky

One thing Franky loves about his crewmates:

They are very sturdy dudes.

With metal hands, you gotta be careful, you know?  Watch where your hands are going, don't move too fast, don't grip too hard, sometimes it's better to just avoid the more delicate stuff altogether.  Franky can't tell you how many things he's broken just by not paying attention, especially in the beginning.  Now it's pretty much instinct; he doesn't even have to think about it.  He wields his body with the same easy, careful skill with which he wields the tools of his craft, and with the very same thought in mind.

_ I am not gonna hurt someone that means something to me. _

That's what he finds so awesome about the Straw Hats - the three power-houses, in particular, because, man, are they crazy-strong.  Franky knows he couldn't hurt them, even if he wanted to, even if he loosens up a bit and doesn't hold back.

He can high-five his captain with as much strength as he wants, and it won't just be that weird, rubbery hand that absorbs the impact and returns it with all kinds of enthusiasm.  He can bump shoulders with the swordsman without knocking the man off his feet, and can always expect a grunt and an elbow-shove in return.  He can clap the twirly-browed cook across the back for making a great meal and not worry about cracking his shoulder-blades, getting a Yeah-I-know-it-shut-up-and-eat grin no matter how heavy his hand falls.  He can wrestle with the sharp-shooter and the little doctor dude (when he's not even in his big gorilla form) on those good-weather days, and not always come out the victor.

With the girls, it's a little different.  They fall into the "more delicate stuff" category, but Franky doesn't go out of his way to avoid them - that would be plain stupid, wouldn't it?  Nico Robin is not the type you rough-house with or jostle playfully at the table, anyway, but Nami-sis is the rowdy, dictating type of little girl that likes to be heard and  _ will  _ be heard, even if she has to rough you up in the process.  She punches all of them without restraint - and it actually hurts quite a lot, that iron fist of hers - and Franky lets her, because he has heard from the others (from Sanji, Usopp, and Chopper, and even from Nico Robin) that Nami is second, only under Zoro.

Franky doesn't mind.  He likes that.

It makes him feel Super - a rough, weird, I'm-not-the-biggest-bro-here kind of Super, but Super nonetheless.

And he really, really likes that.

 


	15. on the exhale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Nami and Sanji

Nami notices Sanji smoking and keeping busy instead of eating during meals one too many times.

She knows they're running low on supplies - because they've been at sea for weeks now, and because  _ a certain someone  _ has to eat five meals a day, with snacks in between - but they've caught fish recently, and there is still plenty of food on the table when he cooks, though the meals are considerably smaller than normal.  It isn't  _ every _ meal,  _ every _ day, but it's more than once; often enough for her to notice, and often enough for that sinking, aching familiarity to settle in her chest.

She watched Belle-mere doing the very same thing.

The first time, Nami only observes it in passing.  Sanji spends the meal going back and forth between the galley and the outside table, fetching coffee for Robin, or tea for her - swearing at the men when they ask for something and going to get it, anyway - or retrieving an (increasingly rare) ornate dessert from the bolted refrigerator where Luffy's greedy fingers can't reach.  Nothing out of the ordinary there, except that he doesn't take the time to sit and enjoy the meal, himself.

The third or fourth time she notices is when it really bothers her, and she watches him closely after that to be sure her suspicions are even founded.  Maybe she's just imagining it...  Maybe she's reading too much into it.  Sanji sits at the table with them, laughing and talking with the others.  The only thing in front of him is an ashtray and he smokes a handful of cigarettes down to the filter, but he doesn't eat anything.  When Luffy's arm gropes around him for Zoro's unattended steak, Sanji grins and slides the plate out from under  _ moss-head  _ and toward the perpetually-hungry captain while Zoro is saying something to Usopp.

Breakfast, days later, is the final straw.  Nami is glaring at her plate after Sanji sets it on the table in front of her, beaming, "Just the way you like~" and she turns the expression on him as he straightens out of the gentlemanly bow.  Some of the earnest delight slips out of his expression, giving way to concern because he knows he's done something to upset her.  He probably thinks it's about the way her ham-and-cheese omelet is prepared and that makes her even angrier.

"Something wrong, Nami?" he asks.

"Yes," she says angrily, and her tone draws the attention of everyone at the table (which is set for six when there are seven of them, and she swears on the inside that she is never going to sit at a table set for one-less again), "Why aren't you eating?"

The question hangs in the air - an unwanted phantom, because it's clear she doesn't just mean  _ this meal _ , she means  _ all the others, too _ \- and Sanji takes a long drag off his cigarette, his hand hiding most of his face and his eyes on the ceiling.  On the exhale, he says, around the smoke, "I've been eating," and it doesn't convince anyone, even though he grins and raises his shoulders.  This gives him away completely, because,  _ "I was going to, Nami." _ or  _ "What do you mean, Nami?" _ would have both been better, honest, suspicion-alleviating answers and Nami opens her mouth to tell him this - to her complete surprise, Zoro beats her to it, lifting his tankard off the table and not even looking at the cook.

"No, you haven't," he says.

"Shut up and drink your beer, moss-head," Sanji growls at him.

Zoro shrugs his shoulders and does just that.  Luffy bangs his fists on the table, rattling the full plates, and frowns indignantly at the chef, "You've been eating between meals, but I can't!"  He's missed the conversation, due to stuffing his face.  Sighing, Usopp puts an exasperated hand on his shoulder.

"Luffy, he's obviously lying."

"What?  You're lying?"

"No, no,  _ Sanji _ is lying."

"Oh," the captain says, his frown deepening.

"Now that I think about it," Chopper says tentatively, looking at Sanji, as well, "I've hardly seen you eat anything at all the last couple of days.  Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine," Sanji snaps, "I've been eating - "

"When?" Nami demands.

He doesn't answer right away, chewing agitatedly on his cigarette.  Apparently he wasn't prepared to be confronted about it and doesn't have an excuse ready.  Robin interjects before he can form one, in her polite and smiling tone, "This is silly, cook."

Nami points to the cabinets, not so much as glancing at her untouched plate, and there's something in the furious, calm way she tells him to, "Go get a plate,  _ now." _ that maybe jogs his memory.  He pauses, long enough to snuff his cigarette out in the ashtray and breathe the rest of the smoke from his lungs, and he gets another plate down.  Nami watches him warily, to be sure he piles his plate high and to be sure he doesn't push it off at Luffy - who is wholly satisfied that the situation, whatever it is, has been resolved and has returned to his own breakfast with gusto - and she makes him sit on the bench beside her.

Sanji takes the seat, quiet and obliging, smiling apologetically, "Sorry, Nami."

"Don't let it happen again," she says, still watching him as she picks up her own fork, pauses to make sure he takes a bite first.

"Yes, ma'am."

"I mean it."

"Yes, ma'am."

 


	16. higher, wire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Ensemble

Luffy is laughing.

"Awesome~  It's so big!!"

_ "I know," _ Usopp says, his shoulders shaking with barely-suppressed mirth as he cranes forward to get a better look.  Slowly, he lifts one hand, index finger extended.  "How can he not notice it climbing all over his face like that?  Priceless.  Where's a camera when you need one, huh?"

"We should move it," Chopper says nervously, looking at the others, "What if it's poisonous??"

"Then you'll make an antidote, right?  We've got it right here if it bites him or something."

"We should get the net!!"

Nami comes over to investigate as Robin, chuckling, disappears below deck.

"What are you three looking at?" Nami asks, planting her hands on her hips and frowning.  She spots the person of their attention - and what is adorning his face - immediately and shrieks, lurching back.   _ "What the hell is that?!" _

Luffy laughs again, straightening up and pointing, "It's a spider, duh!  Can't you tell?"

Obviously it is - though Nami thinks, wildly, that calling it a  _ spider _ in that off-handed, stupid way is  _ the biggest understatement of the century. _  The eight-legged creature is easily the size of her entire hand, fingers spread, and it's perched on the left side of Zoro's face.   _ He's sleeping,  _ and he hasn't even noticed, despite the gathering crowd leaning in to gawk and giggle over him.  The swordsman's mouth is hanging wide open and he's snoring as soundly as ever, and the spider twitches a little when Usopp nudges it with his fingers, positively  _ beaming. _

Nami thinks she might faint.

She fans herself lightly, her face contorted in fear and disgust.

"I know what it is, Luffy!" she says harshly, already retreating across the deck.  That spider is too close for comfort -  _ What if it can jump or something?  She wouldn't doubt it, with those long, hairy, crooked legs?  UGH! _ \- and Nami shudders, hugging her arms.  "Get rid of it!"

Her voice is, of course, what rouses the swordsman - that, or it's Usopp, who has been leaning over him for some time now and suddenly shifts, so the sun falls directly across Zoro's face.  He grunts, then slowly opens his eyes, squinting at the surrounding group.  The spider has crept toward his left temple, hugging his hairline, but it is just out of sight, even from Zoro's peripheral vision.  He doesn't know what they're all gawking at and asks, grumpily, "What?"

Luffy bursts out laughing, pointing at his face, but before he can say anything, Usopp clamps his hand over Luffy's mouth.

"You should go check the galley, Zoro!"

"What?" he asks, frowning.

He shifts his gaze to Nami, who is standing behind the mast.  She's waving her arms silently, making some weird face at him and pointing emphatically with both hands to her own face, mouthing what looks like...  _ Higher?  Wire? _  Crazy woman.  ...Maybe she's having a stroke or something and she's trying to get Chopper's attention.  Zoro glances down to find the little reindeer staring up at him with wide, nervous eyes, his hooves clamped over his mouth.

Zoro raises his hand to touch the side of his face, "What --?"

Usopp grabs his hand before he can bring it up completely, and tries (valiantly) to pull the swordsman to his feet.

"To the galley!  C'mon, c'mon, hurry!"

Laughing, Luffy joins in, grabbing his other wrist and chanting, "Hurry, hurry!  It's gonna be great!"  He actually succeeds in yanking Zoro up off the deck.  Stumbling under the momentum as Usopp and Luffy let him go, Zoro moves towards the stairs, throwing a bewildered look over his shoulder as Chopper skitters out of his path and Nami (with a muffled squeal) disappears around the mast.

So Zoro goes into the galley, keenly aware of Usopp and Luffy grinning and watching from below, with their hands cupped around their ears.

He looks at the cook and asks, roughly, "Did you want something or what?"

There's a deep skillet bubbling on the stove, and Sanji devotes his attention to stirring whatever it is before he even bothers to glance at the swordsman.  His eyes are narrowed in irritation, a cigarette between his teeth, and he raises an eyebrow, "Why the hell would I --"

He stops, though, and flinches, and strangled noise caught in his throat - and Zoro flinches, too, alert and tense because the cook never flinches, not even when they're fighting - he has never,  _ never flinched _ \- and Zoro would find more room to wonder  _ what the hell is going on  _ if there wasn't a sudden, hot,  _ blinding _ pain in his left temple as the cook swings his arm toward him.

He has time to register that, at least - his arm,  _ not his leg _ .

-x-

Zoro wakes up on the floor of the galley - he recognizes the familiar boards against his back at once - but doesn't open his eyes to verify this because his head is  _ screaming _ at him to go back to sleep.   _ Sleep will make it better.  And maybe a beer, but that would mean getting up and that's not happening at the moment... _  His ears are ringing, but listening to Luffy's voice helps a little, so Zoro remains as he is, breathing slow to ease the ache in his head.  He tries to get his bearings.

"That wasn't funny," Luffy is saying, quiet and steady, "Sorry, Sanji."

A rough hand pats the side of his face, then (Chopper murmurs, from a distance,  _ "Luffy, be easy!" _ ), and Zoro is suddenly aware that the  _ other _ side of his face, his left cheek and ear and temple, feels hot -  _ cold, too, that's an odd combination _ \- and raw, like someone's tried to rub his skin off with one of the cook's cheese graters.  He grimaces, hoping the movement is small enough to go unnoticed, and feels something tug lightly on his cheek, the slightest resistance and heaviness.

It must be a cold compress or something, which accounts for one sensation.

"You're damn right it wasn't funny," the cook says angrily, and there is a tiny shudder in his voice that makes Zoro frown slightly, though he still doesn't look, "I fucking hate those things!!"

Usopp is chuckling, half-hearted and nervous, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, but we didn't think you'd go after it with a hot skillet."

And that would account for the other sensation, and the screaming pain in his head.

Damn cook.

On his other side, across from where Luffy is sitting, Zoro hears someone shift and a finger tapping against glass, hollow-sounding like a jar.  A page turns, the noise a small flutter in his ear, and then Robin says softly, "Captain, I believe this is your little spider friend, yes?"  The book is passed over his head, blocking the light for a second before Luffy takes it and drops it onto Zoro's shoulder.  It's surprisingly heavy for a book, smells old.

"Yup, that's it, alright~  Well, I guess it's kinda Zoro's friend, seeing as it was crawling all over his face."

The final piece of the puzzle, then.  Zoro takes a slow, deep breath and lets out a sigh through his nose - there is that hand, patting his face again, "Huh?  Zoro, you awake?"  _ ("Luffy, what did I tell you!  You'll knock the compress off!") _ and he ignores it, thinking it would be better to just continue his nap.

"I tried to warn him," Nami finally pipes up, with clear exasperation, "Honestly.  The big idiot didn't get what I was trying to say at all! ...Sanji, you were burned pretty badly, too, your arm doesn't hurt, does it?"

"No, Nami~  Not as much as seeing a perfectly good chowder wasted."

And Zoro wonders, not for the first time, why he feels so at ease sleeping around these people.

 


	17. but it is not enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHA SOME SABAODY FEELS
> 
> //Robin (and Luffy)

It breaks Robin's heart when Luffy suddenly pulls away from her.

And not in the same way that it breaks her heart to watch Usopp, the self-proclaimed weakest among them, throwing Zoro over his shoulder to carry his injured friend away; knowing that she will not see the swordsman stand again, once he falls; watching Brook shield the first friends he has found in so many years to stand in the sun with; seeing how desperate Sanji is to save at least someone, to not even listen to his captain's desperate pleas.

Luffy is begging them to run, and no one is willing to do it if it means leaving someone behind, and he cannot bear to watch anymore.

That angry red coils off of him, heating his blood, and he screams as he moves.  The desperation is clear on his face and in his voice - he is angry and he is afraid - and that makes Robin angry and afraid, because she knows he isn't going to make it.  She wants to have faith in Luffy -  _ that is the only thing Usopp has ever asked of her and she hears the echo of it, even now, muffled behind that silly mask, over the clatter of the train, _

_ "Have faith in Luffy." _

Like he is an unstoppable force, an immovable object.

Robin thinks he should be.  Luffy is unstoppable, immovable, when there is someone that he loves behind him, when there is someone to protect.  But Robin grasps at her faith, and reality tears it away from her.  She wants him to be able to save them, but she knows that he won't.

_ (Faith will not make him stronger or faster than he is; it will not make his opponents weaker, or slower. _

_ Faith will not bring the others back.) _

And she is right.

Luffy doesn't make it to Franky, but he is  _ so close. _  Close enough, before he is cast so easily aside, to see the determination she knows must be on the shipwright's face as he charges Kuma in his captain's stead - if he is going to go down, it will be paving the way for someone else to escape, but it is not enough.

And - no - he doesn't even make it to Nami, though she reaches for him and calls out to him, and is only an arm's-length away if he only had the time or strength to reach back.  Luffy's wounds are catching up with him; he staggers and chokes, and the navigator's name is wrenched, deep and dark, from his lungs, and it is the saddest cry yet because Nami has asked for his help, and there is nothing he can do to save her.

It dawns on Robin, then, that she should go.

It wouldn't be selfish, would it?  To go?  That's what Luffy is telling her to do  _ (she has heard that desperate tone before, when everything was burning, and this isn't Ohara, but she's losing everything she loves again, isn't she?) _ .  Any other time or place, with any other people, Robin wouldn't have even hesitated - she would have been the first to slip away, unnoticed in the chaos - but Chopper is killing himself to protect friends that are no longer here to protect, and like every Straw Hat before her, Robin cannot bring herself to leave him.  He roars and thrashes, reaching after enemies that he can no longer distinguish from the ones that he loves, and he won't even know that he has failed until it is too late.

It will break his heart.

And it breaks  _ Robin's  _ heart, because it is far too late for all of them.

The doctor is gone - Kuma is standing among the rubble, too close to her - with one final, terrible roar, and in the sudden quiet that falls in it's place, another rises up, like thunder shuddering against the world,  _ "STOP IT!  STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT!!" _  It's the only thing he can say.  That hand comes toward her, palm wide open, and Robin realizes in that brief instant that she has done something terrible to Luffy - the very thing that she has done to countless others before him.

She has left him, alone.

And Luffy does not deserve that.

 


	18. talus a story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Brook and Chopper (and terrible puns)

The trees on the lawn were obviously not made for climbing in.  The leaves shake as Chopper tries to extricate himself from the clinging, stubborn branches.  He pushes away from the trunk of the tree, using both hooves to get some leverage over his head so he can pull without losing his seating; his horns are snagged good, though, and the effort only gives him a headache.  Sighing, Chopper slips his hooves up underneath his hat, rubbing at the base of his antlers.  Maybe if he could reach the branches, he could pry them apart, but his arms are too short.  And he could always try shifting into "heavy point" - it isn't like it's very far to fall - but he doesn't want to break the branches if he can avoid it.

"Chopper," Brook pipes up from beside him, "Might I say, you make a lovely  _ horn _ ament. _  Yohoho! _  If only I could say the same for myself!"

The skeleton has managed to slip his slender bones in between exactly the right branches to get himself stuck, as well, though his feet (swinging merrily) are only about a foot off the ground, at most.  He looks comfortable enough, considering their position.

Chopper giggles, grinning.

"Don't worry, Brook," he says, giving his antlers another tentative tug, "I'm sure you'll  _ femur _ comfortable once we get down from here."

"Ah!   _ Deer  _ me, another bone joke!  Doctor, I'm afraid I'll have to  _ rein _ you in if you keep this up!"

"Why don't you  _ talus  _ a story to pass the time, then?"

" _ Yohoho! _  Well, I'm certainly not as enthralling as Usopp, but if you c _ antle _ rn from the best, you c _ antler _ n at all!"

The two of them laugh, and the branches shake with mirth.

There is silence on the lawn for a while.

"Hhmm," the skeleton hums thoughtfully, and then is deeply serious as he turns to his tiny, captive companion, "I can hardly believe it, but it appears to be true.  Chopper.  I think we may have  _ stag _ nated a bit."

 


	19. vines climbing towards the sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> post-thriller bark
> 
> //Zoro (and Kuina, and Luffy)

He does not expect to meet her at sea, but one day he finds her stepping across his path.

Not  _ standing in his way;  _ she has never done that.

She has always been a welcome challenge - a tide he could push himself against, that will always push back - a promise he intends to keep, a title she intends to win - and they have made each other stronger in time.  They are both following different paths to the same destination and every once in awhile, like vines climbing toward the sun, they intersect.  He doesn't even have to ask.  The invitation is in the way she breathes and moves, calm and steady; the casual shift of her hips, her palm resting on the hilt of her white sword as she turns slightly aside and tilts up her chin with the faintest expectant smile.   _ Well?  I'm waiting on you, Zoro. _

Their swords clash, steel sliding against steel, generating sparks as they glance aside.  Even with only one sword against his three, she is an even match for him - and he is not a boy, anymore, struggling to keep apace with her - and she is not a girl, struggling to come to terms with herself.  Where he is strong and broad-shouldered, she is slim, and sleek, and swift, and she turns his blows aside and slips between his defenses with an expert grace and skill that she has spent years perfecting, and he has spent years anticipating.

She breaks his guard, and he builds it back up.

He cuts to the right, and she swings left.

She turns, and he turns with her.

And they meet again, face to face, their blood and breath and sweat mingling as they come together.

It has been that way for years, now, and when they disengage that final time - when they both relent that there is no ground to gain here, that they are both strong enough - Kuina sheathes her precious sword and then she smiles at him.  It isn't the sad, teary smile from when they were kids, this smile is big and familiar - just pride and unrelenting joy - and it is an expression and feeling that Zoro mirrors instinctively.  She says something to him, then, still bright and vivid, and Zoro hears his name -

Only it's not her saying it this time, it's someone else.

Someone who smacks his shoulders and his face, and shakes him roughly, and says his name again, loudly, laughing in the dark.

There is that big, familiar grin.

"Zoro!  Zooooro, come sleep on watch with me!  C'mon, it's nice outside~"

The swordsman groans as he sits upright, shoving Luffy out of his face.  The bunk swings, rocking with the tide as it pushes gently against the ship and reminding him of where he is, and who he is with.  His voice is like gravel as he rubs the sleep from his eyes with the heel of his hand, "Idiot.  You just don't want to sit out there by yourself all night."

"Nope," Luffy says, grinning and fidgeting, "I sure don't!"

He's standing impatiently between the bunks, glancing around every few seconds to see if he's woken anyone else.  The other five are fast asleep; Luffy has obviously been on watch duty for a while, now.  Most times, he's fine, but every now and then he just gets something in his head, and those nights he can't stand not having company, even if it's the quiet, unresponsive kind that only snores to fill the silence.  So Zoro - despite the myriad of injuries, throbbing under the annoying bandages Chopper still won't let him take off - rolls out of his bed and gets to his feet, so he can sleep on the lawn while his captain watches the sea.

 


	20. walked a little softer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Luffy and Merry

He kind of always thought of Merry the same way he thinks of Zoro:

_ Sturdy, unsinkable, and always there to catch him. _

No one he has loved has ever let him down before - he has never thought of one of his friends as weak and unreliable, because it just isn't true.  His friends are all strong and smart in their own ways, in the places he is weak and stupid, and Merry is exactly the same.  She fills an empty place in his life, in his heart; she does her best, and that is all Luffy needs from her.  It's all he needs from any of them.  But a ship... is not like a person.  No matter how much it might want to, a ship can't grow just because he is growing; a ship can't get stronger because he is getting stronger; a ship can't get better without the right kind of care, even if it's the only kind of care they can give; a ship can't look after itself; a ship can't change to fit him.

Maybe he could have changed to fit the ship, if he had realized this sooner.

He could have walked a little softer.

He loves Merry - like he loves all his friends - and he has never changed to fit one of them, but he is what they need him to be.

That's the captain's job, isn't it?  To be the thing that everyone else needs?  Merry needed something different from him.  He has one job, and somehow, this time, he didn't do it right.  And it tears Luffy up inside to know that he has let a friend down - he has hurt a friend so much - and Merry still has the heart to forgive him for it.

 


	21. the cabin in the night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Chopper

Chopper feels the familiar cooling in the air long before the rest of them, and it delights him.

He feels the shift deep in his bones, prickling across his skin underneath the heavy fur, and he wonders absently if Nami - who is so amazing and smart when it comes to the weather and knows everything about it - well, he wonders if Nami feels it, too.  She doesn't say anything if she does.  It isn't a big, threatening type of shift, so it isn't really worth mentioning.  It's subtle, and more like the way the wind  _ smells _ , and maybe the direction, but Chopper never really pays attention to that.  Nami probably decides that it's just the capricious Grand Line weather doing what it does best; the weather is mild, after all, warm and windy, gently-stormy, misleading like the final dregs of summer.

And then suddenly, a full six days later, the cold creeps into the cabin in the night.  Chopper is lying in his bunk on top of the covers with his eyes closed, trying to absorb the crisp, clear air into his body so he can save it up for later.  He takes a deep breath through his nose, relishing in the smell, and lets it out slowly.

"It's snowing," he says quietly, to no one.

The others are still asleep, all bundled up under heavy blankets - except for Franky, who is on watch and has probably already seen the snow fall first-hand.  Usopp has abandoned his open bunk for the more solid warmth of the sofa, securing himself tightly in a blanket so none of the frigid air will get in, his nose pressed into the cushion.  Brook doesn't seem to be bothered by the cold, and Chopper can hear him humming softly in his sleep from the end of the row.  Sanji is sprawled out in his bunk, same as always except for the slightest, occasional shiver.  And Luffy has rolled out of his own bunk and into Zoro's, and the swordsman has one arm and leg dangling out in the open air to accommodate his captain's gangly, intrusive limbs, the blanket clutched in his fist and caught between his toes to keep his digits from completely freezing.  Luffy lies across his back, snoring soundly.

Chopper eventually falls back to sleep listening to the noise, a broad smile on his face.

 


	22. renewed interest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Nami and Zoro

Nami can't say she isn't surprised when Zoro catches her out on the deck alone and tries to give her money.

"Here," he says roughly.

The fist-full of neatly-counted bills is thrust out before him, as if he expects the money to eat through his palm if he holds onto it any longer.  Nami reaches to take it reflexively - it's  _ money _ , after all - only she jerks her hand back at the last second.   _ Zoro with money.   _ This must be a trick.  She manages to stammer, "What?  What's this?" her voice pitching higher when Zoro makes an irritated noise low in his throat and grabs her wrist as she pulls back.

He turns her hand over, setting the money in her open palm.

"Your money," Zoro says, then adds, "...Some of it."

"You're paying me back?" she asks, so incredulous that it's nearly an insult.

Zoro scowls.

"300% interest, right?"

"Well - yeah," Nami murmurs, absolutely  _ stunned _ , thumbing through the bills in her hand with renewed interest.

It's nothing but petty cash - Chopper is worth more to the Marines - but, hey, it's a start!  More than she ever expected to see, actually.  She just assumed the swordsman would ignore his formerly-protested debt and continue drinking himself into it even deeper (that seemed like a road well-traveled for him, anyway, and Nami wasn't about to call him back from it, because  _ more for her, right? _ ).  This is a nice, thoroughly-unexpected surprise and Nami quickly changes her tune, beaming at him as she tucks the money down the collar of her shirt.

"It's about time you started paying off your debt~"

Zoro obviously wasn't anticipating any reaction other than this one, so he grunts in acknowledgment and turns away.  Nami moves to follow him; she isn't one to question a good thing, but  _ this  _ she has to know, "Where'd you get the money?"

"None of your business."

She shrugs it off, "Fair enough."

She  _ does _ notice, though - she makes a point of noticing - that the next time Zoro is injured he doesn't dig so much at his bandages, doesn't scratch or pull at them, doesn't growl out his annoyance at having to wear them every five minutes.  The bandages actually manage to stay on for longer than half a day and she thinks,  _ Of course _ .  Chopper.  The tiny doctor would be the swordsman's only option, since Usopp is surprisingly resolute and unsympathetic in his  _ "you made your own bed, now lie in it" _ policy.  Luffy doesn't understand money and never has any, regardless (he's starting to rack up an even more impressive debt, because he doesn't know to watch where he lays his hands when dragging a girl out of harm's way).

And Zoro wouldn't ask, and Sanji wouldn't give.

So apparently, it's actually a  _ good  _ thing (for Chopper's peace of mind, of course) that Zoro owes her so much money.

He is a very difficult man to live with.

 


	23. nothing left to sharpen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Sanji and Merry

Call him a sentimental bastard.

Whatever.

But that shitty little caravel has been his home since he left the Baratie, and it kills him to stand there with the others and watch her go down - until there are just so-many pieces of burned white wood bobbing just shy of the surface, a handful of tiny flames spotting the sea as the waves churn and whisk the rest away.  Sure, he'd said they needed a new ship.  It was true.  They did.  Hell, she was falling apart at the seams long before their drop from Sky Island.  Sanji still remembers Usopp's screechy demand that he cut out his own tongue for saying it as he hammered away at the hull, trying to keep her together.

But it's like saying you need a new kitchen knife.

You need one.  But you don't really want one.

You want to sharpen the old one and keep using it because it's  _ your knife _ \- and you're familiar with the way it fits your hand and moves with you, the weight of it and the sound of it  _ clacking  _ through against the chopping block.

Eventually, though... there's just nothing left to sharpen.

Sanji has a knife like that.

And knowing that, it's probably what makes him do it.  What makes him take a second look in the first place, when the others are climbing aboard Iceberg's ship; what makes him hesitate, and lean over the edge of the swaying dingy.  Sanji doesn't even think about it.  He just notices.  He reaches down with one hand, fingers dipping into the cold, dark water and closing around a small chip of white wood that's floating by, bumping against the side of the boat and trying not to sink.

It's from the aft balustrade.  He's leaned against that railing to smoke on warmer nights often enough to recognize it, to know the feel of it underneath his fingertips - water-logged or not.  There is a shallow groove where the paint is missing, an indent in the soft wood where Luffy's teeth have sunk in at some point, begging for a midnight snack.  Sanji blows a slow trail of smoke out between his teeth, around his cigarette, as he turns the fragment over between his fingers.

He pockets it silently and climbs aboard.

 


	24. of warm summer days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Brook

Sometimes he hears the footsteps thundering across the deck.

Sometimes he stands and he listens, his heart soaring ( _ oh, but he doesn't really have a heart, does he? _ \- a quiet place whispers, so very near - _ because he's a skeleton.  YO HO HO. _ ) and in those brief, bright, vivid moments, he and the ship are both alive as they haven't been in many years.  The deck doesn't creak and groan under the burden of it's own weight, drifting aimlessly on darkened seas - it stands, sturdy and sure atop crystal-clear waves, the wind filling the sails, their jolly roger flying free, the sea-spray in the open air.

There is the joyous calling out for requests.

There are the voices of friends, familiar faces wafting out of the mist - or is it through the glimmer of sunshine, resplendent and warm across his face?

_ "Play that song, would you, Brook?" _

And he plays.

-x-

Sometimes he sits at the piano.

Sometimes he only sits, humming softly to himself, pressing keys here and there to hear the melancholy thrum; and sometimes plays his fingers to the bone -  _ to the bone - do you get it? - YO HO HO HO _ \- just so the time will pass more quickly.

-x-

Sometimes, when it seems as if the sun might peek down through the endless fog, Brook is anxious.

Sometimes, like today, he dregs up an umbrella - battered, torn, and crooked, no good at all for staving off potential sunrays, though there are no sunrays to fear, potential or otherwise - from the dank and lonely cabins below.  He tips it against his shoulder, twirls it languidly between his hands, enjoying the fluttering sound of the broken pieces and the clattering rattle of wood against his bones.  The sounds reassure him as he strolls merrily out onto the deck, humming cheerfully.

He paces about, following invisible pathways, making a show of peering out from under the umbrella's rim, pausing to admire things that are not there - the flowers, the trees, the dirt, the sun - and after a time he begins to talk,

"Oh, my, what fine weather we're having today!  Yes, this is just fine.  Everyone, isn't this fine?  Why, it's so nice, I may even get a bit of a tan - Oh!  Though, I suppose it's quite the opposite with me.  I'll be Bleached-Bones Brook,  _ YO HO HO! _  Won't that be a sight?

_ 'My friend, you're so very pale!' _

_ 'Yes, well, I'm trying to keep up my complexion, you know!' _

_ 'I think it's a very lovely shade.' _

_ 'Why, thank you, I've been working on it for thirty-six years~  YO HO HO HO!' _ "

He carries on, and on, though no one is there to listen.

The noise makes him less afraid.

-x-

Sometimes he is very lucid.

Sometimes he lays down among his friends - just to be with them again - he does get lonely, you know - and he thinks of how strange it is to be so very like them, and so very like how they were.  He has gotten caught up in the middle of things.  He has gotten lost.  And he does not know how he feels about this.

-x-

Sometimes - most times... - there is nothing but the aphotic, lonely days, one piled on top of the other like so many broken bones.  There is wind, and rain, and night, and days of almost-sun.  There is music, and the small hope that burns through him like fire in veins he doesn't have - a hope that sears his bones -  _ his bones. YO HO. _ \- more than thoughts of the distant sun ever could.  There is his laughter, resounding like a swansong through long-empty halls.

There is the quiet that he will never grow accustomed to.

There is the fading memory of friends...

And of warm summer days.

 


	25. small honest things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Robin

When she first joins the Straw Hats on their journey, Robin maintains her usual distance.  She does what she's expected to - she helps the navigator, yields to the swordsman, smiles at the cook, plays with the doctor and the captain, encourages the sniper - and she does what she must.  She waits on the sign that it's time to take her leave.  She listens, but the whispers of betrayal never come; she watches, but she only sees them standing beside her, steady as a rock the sea beats against (and she has a terrible habit of being the sea, whittling away at the people around her).

But they are all so different from what she is used to.  They shift aside for her as if it were the most natural thing in the world, like new water in a glass that is already half full.  She stirs them up, but they settle, and in the end they have melded so seamlessly that it is impossible to tell where one of them ends and the other begins.  It's strange to laugh so easily, to feel so welcome and so unimaginably loved.

Chopper climbs into her lap, seeking refuge from one thing or another and a quiet conversation.  Luffy tells her, around a mouth full of food, that she has a really nice reading voice and falls asleep at the galley table listening, late in the night when he has crept in for a snack.  Usopp's voice no longer wavers when he talks to her, when he tells her his boisterous stories or asks for her advice; and Zoro sleeps more soundly on the deck, more at ease than she has ever had the chance to be.

Sanji asks her, with wide earnest smiles, what she'd like for dinner.  Anything at all.

In a crowded shopping district, Nami takes her hand.

Robin - so wary and careful - is taken aback by these small, honest things, and left at a loss for words.  She smiles and answers softly, returns each gesture as it's given.  And when she begins to understand, some time later when she has dwelt on it, when there is still a deep chill settled in her bones and a solid warmth pressing in on her from all sides - breathing easily, tossing and turning under the sheets, hugging pillows and kicking feet, faces burrowing into shoulders and hair - the reality of it only breaks her heart.

_ She has friends. _

And the longer she stays, the more she doesn't want to go.

 


	26. idiots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Sanji

_ "Get away from there," _ Sanji growls, without even turning to look as he whisks the thick, yellow contents of his largest mixing bowl.  His parent-voice is top notch this morning, because Luffy withdraws his hand and sinks down beside the table.  Satisfied that the command has been followed, Sanji twists around to glare at him, brandishing the splattered whisk.  "That's for Nami!"

Luffy bites the edge of the table in frustration and groans loudly, his teeth digging into the wood, "Bud it wooks show good!"

"Thank you.  It's still for Nami."

"I'm starwing!"

Sanji unsympathetically returns to his whisking.

"You're fine, you just had breakfast."

"I knee shecon-breakfash!"

"You'll have  _ lunch _ in an hour if you'll just be patient.  Don't eat that table and  _ the next time you reach for this cake will be the last time you have hands!" _

Collapsing against the bench, Luffy moans, as if he's in terrible pain, and rolls off into the floor, holding his stomach.  He lays under the table and persists in his agony for several minutes without any sign of letting up; he sounds like he's dying.  Sanji raises his eyes to the ceiling, sighing a line of smoke from between his teeth, and prays for patience.

He turns again, whisk and bowl in hand, and Luffy's feet are, surprisingly, all he can see of the rubber idiot.  Neither of his hands are stretching around the edges of the table, fingers groping blindly for the prize.  The small, delicate cake that he crafted so affectionately for Nami is fine - sitting exactly where he left it, on the exact same plate, the icing still perfectly smooth, and every puffy swirl of whip cream, and every tiny, diamond-shaped tangerine slice accounted for.  Sanji is relieved and suspicious, all rolled into one.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" he asks, reluctantly turning back to the counter and tapping the whisk against the edge of the mixing bowl.

The thin metal  _ pings  _ lightly when it clashes together.

"No," Luffy moans, his voice faint and muffled by something between his teeth, "Hungry..."

He must be chewing on his arm.

"I'll make you some sandwiches in just a second."  Sanji holds the whisk under the faucet, running water through the tines, and drops it into the sink.  He retrieves his two largest baking pans from the bottom cabinets and sets them out on the counter, by the mixing bowl.  "What do you want on them?"

"Meat...!"

Sanji pours the batter he's mixed, dividing it evenly between the deep pans, and scrapes the bowl out with three deft turns of a spatula.

"Anything else?" he asks, smacking the excess batter off.

He drops the spatula in the mixing bowl, sets them both in the sink, then pulls open the oven door.  Warm air gusts across his face as he slides the heavy pans in side-by-side, across the middle rack.  They barely fit in the oven - perfect, considering who they're going to feed in one sitting - and Sanji doesn't bother setting a timer.  By the time he makes the sandwiches (all three dozen of them) and cleans his kitchen again, the cakes will be finished, each a luscious golden brown, thick and fluffy, and they will have plenty of time to cool while he prepares for lunch.

"Meeaaaat," Luffy moans.

"Meat sandwiches it is, then, Captain.  Go see what the others want."

Luffy mumbles wordlessly, sprawled out under the table, and doesn't move.  Sanji turns and looks down at the sandaled feet, wiping his hands on his apron.  He waits for a second to see if Luffy plans on doing as he asks, and when it becomes clear that he's just too damn hungry to crawl out on his own, Sanji reaches under the table after him.  He hooks his foot behind Luffy's knee and slides him out with one swift tug, scowling down at him as Luffy blinks in surprise, holding his hat onto his head.

Sanji drops his leg, his hands on his hips.

"Go get them," he says, "Or no sandwiches."

Luffy hops to his feet at once, complacent and grinning, "Okay, okay."

He heads for the door and Sanji notices - belatedly, with a jolt of alarm - that his arm is outstretched.

_ Nami's cake! _ he thinks, furious with himself as he looks at it, but the delicate, flawless cake is still there, still perfect.  The cake is fine...  Luffy's arm is stretched around Sanji, past the cake - _ PAST THE CAKE? _ \- grubbing around in the sink.  Metal  _ clinks  _ and  _ clangs  _ noisily against metal for a second, and then the mixing bowl comes winding past him, slinging drops of water from the bottom and remnants of batter from the top, as the arm returns to it's owner.

Luffy catches it and holds it with both hands, grinning broadly, and Sanji feels a new kind of horror sink into his stomach.

He notices the spatula in Luffy's hand, as well.

_ "Don't you  _ dare  _ lick that...!" _ he growls, lunging forward.

Of course, Luffy doesn't lick it - he puts the entire spatula in his mouth and bolts from the galley, cradling the bowl under his arm.  Sanji can't believe he had to witness this atrocious act with his own two eyes, and for one instant he has half a mind to just let Luffy keep them.  Buy a new mixing bowl, a new spatula.  Then the outrage returns - that is  _ his _ bowl, and  _ his _ spatula, and he's going to wash them anyway, but  _ really, how disgusting can you be! _

When he finds Luffy, hiding under the forecastle, he has to literally yank the mixing bowl out from between his teeth.

It's been licked entirely clean.

Sanji cracks his captain in the head with it, snarling,  _ "Idiot!  Why should I cook for you if you're going to act like an animal!" _

Luffy is hardly remorseful.

"But it tastes awesome and I'm starving!"

"You're pretty damn far from starving!!  Have some patience!"

"What's the big deal, you were gonna rinse that out anyway --"

"It's  _ raw eggs  _ and flour and milk, you stomach with legs,  _ you don't eat anything raw, that's what I'm here for! _  Where's my spatula?  I bet you swallowed it!"   
  
"That rubber thing?  No, I gave it to Usopp."

"Usopp...?"

Summoned by the sound of his name, Usopp leans into the forecastle through the open doorway, said spatula in hand, "What?  Did you guys need something?"  Apparently Luffy was feeling charitable, because there's extra batter on the spatula when Usopp returns it to his mouth.  Sanji grimaces in disgust, his cigarette between his teeth.

"Usopp, he's had that in  _ his  _ mouth!"

This doesn't dissuade the sharp-shooter like Sanji thinks it should.

"So what?" he asks, with a raised eyebrow, "I don't care if he  _ licked _ it, I've taken half a steak right out of his mouth before.  You take what you can get from that guy, chewed or not."

Even Zoro pipes up from where he's lounging on the deck against the gunwale, "Usopp's got a point.  There's no fair-eating when Luffy's around - he thinks he's won if he puts it in his mouth and if we let him win every time he  _ did _ , the rest of us wouldn't get half as much to eat."

Sanji realizes, in that moment, that he is surrounded by idiots.

Disgusting, ungrateful  _ idiots. _

 


	27. the sea and sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Luffy and Usopp

Luffy hates that he can't enjoy a beach for all that it's worth.

It's swimming he wants the most.  He wants to race the others out to the edge of the bay, because he likes to think he would be a fast swimmer, if only he didn't sink.  He wants to go snorkeling with Usopp and see all the awesome colorful fish, not just when they're flopping desperately at the end of a fishing line and not just when he's hungry and Sanji is dicing them up in the kitchen.  He wants to feel the cool water rushing against his skin, pulling at his limbs, and the wet sand giving way under his feet, without wondering if he's going to go under for good this time.

It doesn't worry him - there is always someone there to drag him back to the surface - but he remembers wanting to swim all the time when he was little, and now he can't even stand knee-deep in the ocean without it sucking out all of his energy.

It's kinda depressing.

Luffy sighs, sitting on the dry sand under the hot sun with his legs stretched out in front of him, his hands buried in the sand between his legs.  His red shorts aren't even damp, but somehow the sand still manages to stick to them, and his straw-hat keeps the sun off his face and his bare shoulders as he stares at the green-blue waves sweeping lazily toward him, just a few feet away.  He can smell and taste the salt, and if he's really still he can almost  _ feel _ the sun moving; a warm current against his skin that matches the ocean's steady pace.  He guesses this is what tanning is like and kinda gets why Nami does it so much, now.

The navigator is stretched out in one of her lounge chairs nearby, glossy with freshly-applied oil.  She shifts slightly, one of her legs catching the sunlight and blinking bright white for a second, and Luffy glances over at her, and then at the others.

Zoro is sleeping, snoring, buried up to his neck in the sand.  His face is going to be cherry red when he wakes up and he isn't going to be happy about it.

Sanji is firing up a stone grill, trying to get the coals to burn, first, and then boldly leaning in once he has to light his cigarette.

Robin is in the shade with a book and a cold drink, and Chopper is sprawled in the chair beside her, panting and sweating through his winter fur.  One of the archaeologist's slender arms is fanning the reindeer with a shift of paper, wholly sympathetic to his plight.

He can't see Usopp, Luffy realizes, scanning the ocean's surface for the orange snorkel, the buoyed shorts,  that would give his friend away.

The waves break, filling the quiet afternoon with the constant rush and roar, but there is no sign of the sharp-shooter among them.  Luffy turns his head slowly, searching the shore.  He spots the damp footprints in the sand, very close to him, but he doesn't have time to wonder if they might be Usopp's, or whether they're leaving the water or going back to it.  Something presses down on him suddenly, from above, and it smashes his hat down over his eyes and traps his arms against his sides, squeezing him tight.

Luffy shouts in surprise, falling on his side, and tries to spread his arms against the restraints.

"Hey, pull your arms up the right way, you idiot!  You're gonna bust it doing that!"

A hand falls on the crown of his hat and pushes it backwards, up off of his face, and there is Usopp, leaning over him and blocking the sun, grinning.

His hair is still damp and he smells like the sea.

"What's the big idea?" Luffy asks, frowning slightly.  He realizes it's an inner-tube squeezed around his chest.

"You've been sitting here too long," Usopp says, pointing a finger in accusation.  He hasn't lost the smile.  "It's unsettling.  Now, come on!"

"Come where?"

"Come  _ on _ , don't ask questions!"

He says it with such assertiveness that it doesn't even occur to Luffy to decline.  He's grinning, anyway.  Usopp grabs the float and drags his captain to his feet; Luffy loses his footing once in the loose sand, but manages to pull his arms free after a lot of wobbling and a lot of pushing and pulling on Usopp's part.  The inner-tube is striped, bright yellow and orange - easy to spot against the ocean.  Luffy holds onto it with both hands as Usopp calls after Chopper,

"Are you comin', little man!  We're gonna explore these rocks over here!"

He points down the shore, and Luffy, curious, turns his head to look.  He spots the rocks, big and round and polished smooth by years of the waves crashing against them, stretching way out into the ocean.  He grins in earnest, now.  There are probably tons of fish over there.

Chopper can hardly bear to speak, let alone go exploring.

"No... no thanks!" he gasps, not even opening his eyes, "I'm good, you guys..."

Robin smiles affectionately as she turns a page of her book, and her free hand fans the air a little harder than before, trying to ease his discomfort.  Sanji sets a full glass on the table in front of the tiny doctor, so he doesn't dehydrate, and looks over at Luffy and Usopp.

"Don't go too far, I'm about to start lunch."

"We're just goin' right down here," Usopp says, and sets off at a half-jog down the beach, over the more solid sand where the ocean has retreated.

Barefooted, grinning, Luffy follows him, "Make lots of meat!"

Nami lifts her head, briefly raising her sunglasses, to tell them not to drown each other, before she returns to basking in the golden sun; Zoro shifts underneath the weight of all that sand, his face reddening, and continues to snore.  The ocean comes crashing back, sweeping away their newly-laid footprints, and the burst of cold water against Luffy's ankles feels amazing, right down to the bottoms of his feet.  He wants to dive in, right there, and forsake the shore entirely.

But Usopp climbs over the rocks with him, splashing in the shallows while they're near the shore and avoiding the deeper ocean further out - as if he'll sink like an anchor, too, should either of them slip.  They find tons and tons of fish.  And Luffy thinks, on the return trip - when he and Usopp compare scraped knees and elbows, and who found the coolest fish, and when he can smell grilled meat and his stomach is grumbling - that maybe swimming could never be half as fun or filling as not swimming is, after all.

 


	28. red so dark it's black beneath him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt was: Zoro & Luffy + BLOOD. Thriller Bark
> 
> //Zoro

Zoro only hits his knees once.

The pain is in his chest, pounding in his head.

It vibrates out through his arms and his legs give out when it goes through them, next.  He's surprised he catches himself at all - the ground bites into his palms, dirt stinging in the open wounds, jarring every broken bone he has.  He hears the splatter, has that too-familiar taste in his mouth, the scent in his nose; red so dark it's black beneath him, like a hole he may never hit the bottom of - and he has the nerve to feel a skitter of fear.

Zoro sucks in a sharp breath, jerks himself out of the daze that fogs him in.  The air feels like it goes right to his stomach.  There's blood in his lungs and it makes him choke.  His head spins, his brain trying to make sense of the pain, the spasms in his muscles.  Zoro grits his teeth.  He has the nerve to feel weak, to fall down on the job -  _ this is  _ **_nothing_ ** \- and he uses the unexpected, uncontrolled swaying of his body as it tries to collapse to get one foot back underneath himself.  He surges to his feet.  He pushes up, staggers forward, straightens his back.

He thinks of Luffy, breaking his body to save them all, resolved, steady.

_ This is nothing. _

 


	29. trembling hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Sanji and Luffy (+Law)

When Law wanders into the Sunny's galley and asks for something to drink, the cook is still washing up from breakfast, elbows-deep in suddy dishwater with a cigarette between his lips.  Sanji glances up at the request, expels a gush of smoke between his teeth, and says, "Yeah, help yourself."  He grabs a towel off the rack, drying his hands.  The door of the refrigerator is locked - Law cannot fathom  _ why _ , but knows it isn't his business to ask - and Black Leg steps over to unlock it for him, a wayward trail of water going down his elbow as he punches in the code and pulls the door open.

Law has never seen a fridge quite like this one.  It's so full, so organized, he's almost overwhelmed.

There are containers bursting with fruit and left-overs, bottles of sauces and any number of things the surgeon can't name.  There's beer in the refrigerator door, clanking noisily at the smallest movement; a drawer full of cola in the bottom when Law pulls it open to investigate; a row of milk cartons that goes straight to the back; and on the center shelf, three large pitchers of different juices, a jug of iced tea with lemons bobbing around the rim.  None of the food containers are labeled, and so it's the bottle of orange juice sitting front and center that catches Law's attention:

_ Luffy. _

Printed in thin sloping letters on the side of it.

Frowning, Law lifts the bottle out, turns it over, and sets it back down.  It's not the fact that there is something labeled for the captain, so much as what it's on - Law has only been with the crew for a short time, but it's been long enough to watch Straw Hat gorge himself on more than one meal.

Behind him, as if summoned by the thought, the galley door bangs open.

Straw Hat romps in, whining like a child, "Sanjiii...!"

"What?" the cook drawls out, bubbles sloshing up his arms.

The question is barely out of his mouth before Sanji jerks, plates  _ thunking _ against the bottom of the sink when he drops them.  He spins to look at the refrigerator.  Law is standing there with the door wide open, bewildered by the intense reaction and glowering because of it.  Sanji twists again, looking at Luffy.  The tension eases from his shoulders almost at once, though.  Luffy doesn't launch himself at the brazen opportunity (Law realizes, a bit late, probably why the refrigerator is locked, why the cook is so dismayed;  _ bottomless pit, stomach-with-legs _ ).

Luffy pulls himself up onto the bench on the opposite side of the counter, slumps harmlessly forward with his hands splayed across it.

He lets out another low whine, his eyes closed as he rests his chin on the counter.

"I need somethin'."

"You just ate," Sanji says, exasperated.

Law can see the bunched line of his profile as he watches Luffy warily.  He turns to look, as well, thinking he's in a suddenly-precarious situation that he doesn't care to be in - and sees the symptoms immediately.  Shallow breathing, tremblings hands, the slight drain of color in Straw Hat's face and the way he's draped against the counter as if he has no energy at all.  He's been going nonstop since he woke up, maintaining their course at the navigators behest and running around with his crew on the lawn.  Just ten minutes ago, Law watched him, the sniper, and the robot haul a number of large fish into the aquarium.

Stretching his rubber body the way he does and being so hyperactive - it's natural that he would burn through it's fuel much faster than normal.

He's spent too much energy too quickly and his blood sugar has plummeted.

Law opens his mouth to say as much, not entirely surprised.

The cook seems to realize this the very moment that Law does: he snarls,  _ "Idiot! _  Why didn't you say something sooner!?" and water spills across the floor as he yanks his hands out of the sink.  Luffy lets out a wobbly laugh, a weak excuse - got busy, didn't think about it.  Sanji tears the towel from the dish rack to mop up his hands, sees Law standing in his way when he strides toward the fridge, and barks,  _ "Hey!  Move it!" _

Law is so startled by the tone that he doesn't answer.  It's the most vicious thing the cook has said to him.  He supposes it's not entirely misplaced, and chooses not to be offended by it.  Wordlessly, he reaches into the fridge and lifts the bottle of orange juice out.   _ Luffy. _  Another thing that makes sense.  He hands it to the cook, and Sanji comes up short when he sees it, the murderous look on his face vanishing.  He takes the juice with a muttered  _ thanks _ , pulls a tall glass out of the cabinet and fills it on his way back to the counter.

"Don't drink it all at once, you idiot," the cook admonishes, a little softer, setting the glass down between Luffy's open hands, the bottle next to it.  The captain is grinning as he brings the glass to his lips and Sanji turns his head aside to breathe out a stream of smoke, snuffing his cigarette out in the ashtray.  "What d'you want?"

Luffy hums, the sound bubbling slightly in his glass.

_ "Meat." _

They say it in unison, Straw Hat eager for the meal and Sanji wondering why he bothered asking in the first place.  Law pours himself a glass of tea and replaces the pitcher, watching while the cook hastens around the counter and disappears into the pantry.  He doesn't know what to do, now…  He had been planning on standing here and enjoying the peace and quiet while he finished his drink, but now he sees that he's going to be in the way.

Reluctantly, Law pushes the refrigerator door closed and moves around the other side of the counter to sit on the bench.  Straw Hat has finished off most of his juice already, despite the cook's instructions.  He has his head resting on the counter, his arms pulled in and hugging his sides.  His breath has evened out a bit, but his hands are fisted into the sides of his shirt and he keeps fidgeting.

When Law sits down beside him, Luffy turns his head.  His face is still pressed against the counter, straw-hat tipped at an angle and covering half his face.

He grins inexplicably.

Law thinks ignoring him is probably going to be the safest option, but for some reason he frowns, instead, and asks, "What?"

Straw Hat doesn't answer him.  He turns his face away, toward the pantry.

"Sanji, what'cha gonna make?"

There's a short pause as Sanji thinks.  Glancing up into the pantry, Law sees that there are already a few small sacks and boxes cradled in the cook's elbow; he's staring at something on the shelf, hand hanging over it, "I was gonna wait until dinner, but I guess - crepes."

"Traffy wants some, too!"

"Alright, then."

"I never said - "

"Don't worry, it's not bread, it's just  _ like _ bread."  Sanji takes whatever it is off the shelf, and pulls the pantry door closed with his foot as he comes out.  He shoots Straw Hat a murderous look. "You keep doing this shit and me and Chopper'll be fighting over who gets to kick your ass, you understand?"

"Sorry," Luffy says, laughing, "I'll pay more attention."

Sanji sighs, "No you won't."

It's not the first time that Law wonders if he's made the right decision.

 


	30. all the same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Sanji

Sanji doesn't like those dreams where he gets up out of bed and wanders off to do something he'd normally do.  When he's sure he can feel the breeze coming off the sea, taste the tobacco in his mouth and smell the smoke as he lights a cigarette; when he thinks he's wide awake until he misses a step going down the stairs, or the ship tips and he loses his footing.  He doesn't like the way he slams back into consciousness, jerking and gasping like he's come up out of water, half-choked, heart racing, ice cold and disoriented by the dark.

It's the sounds that bring him back around, make him aware of where he is.  The bunks creaking as the ship moves; moss-head and Franky snoring like it's some kind of competition, loud enough to drown out an oncoming storm.  Luffy humming wordlessly as he turns overhead, his bare leg dropping over the side of his bunk, foot swinging in the open air.

A breathless word rushes into the quiet, _"Shit."_

Sanji rubs a hand across his face, pulls on his t-shirt where it's twisted around his middle.  He kicks back the blanket and gets out of bed, ducking under Luffy's wayward foot.  He pokes a finger into Luffy's arch, just to see the rubber idiot jump and to raise his own mood a little bit - and Luffy doesn't disappoint.  He huffs laughter in his sleep, a dumb giggle and a loose murmur to stop as he kicks his leg, reflexive and weak.  An arm joins his leg over the edge and Sanji tosses it back up across him so it won't go all numb and uncooperative hanging at an awkward angle like that.  Luffy's floppy enough when he's in full control of his limbs.

Sanji lets himself out of the cabin, counting heads by the faint grey light that streams in before he pulls the door closed again - sees that Usopp has his head tucked under his pillow at the foot of his bunk, his ass in the air, and that Brook has stretched languidly across two of the bunks, his head hanging off the nearest, though it's hard to tell if the skeleton's awake and pretending or actually asleep.  There will be a joke about having a crick in his neck at the breakfast table, Sanji can feel it.

Chopper's on the last watch of the night.

There's a small light on in the crow's nest, bright enough to read by; yellow and blue starting to color the horizon off the starboard side of the ship.  Sanji watches the colors slowly bloom, digs a hand into the pocket of his jogging pants - hiked up around his knees, twisted a little around the waist until he straightens them out.  He finds a crumpled pack of bent cigarettes he'd forgotten about and slept on, but no lighter, and he goes to the kitchen to remedy that.  There are matches in the first top drawer and the nicotine helps ease the slight tremble in his hands, his frayed nerves, as soon as it hits his system.

Sanji takes in a long drag, fills his lungs and holds it in, and lets it out with a slow sigh, leaning against the counter.

He taps the box against the front of the drawer, smokes in the half-dark.

Once the ember burns into the filter, Sanji puts it out in the ashtray with a final exhale and watches the grey smoke scatter and plume across the counter.  He lights another one with the quick strike of a match before he crosses the kitchen and hits the lights.  They blink on, one after the other.  Sanji's eyes aren't ready for the change and they sting a bit, still heavy from the abrupt wake-up, but he starts getting together the shit he needs for breakfast.  It's almost too early to start cooking anything, but he turns the coffee pot on, sets a mug beside it as it starts to gurgle and hiss, knowing Robin will be in just as soon as the sun is on it's way up in earnest.

It's realizing this that Sanji feels suddenly unpresentable.

He paws at the loose pants, lifts a foot to toe down the legs where they're hugging his calves.  Part of him says _fuck it_ as he pushes a hand back through his hair to lay it flat, going to pull supplies from the pantry - another part says he'll feel less like shit after a shower, and there's still plenty of time.

It takes him fifteen minutes and another cigarette to make up his mind - fifteen minutes to mix together two loaves of sweet bread and wash the bowl and spoon, the oven warming up while he works and knocking the slight chill out of the kitchen.  Sanji sets the bread pans in the oven together, pushes the heavy door up until it pulls itself firmly closed.  They're deep and they'll take maybe an hour, and since he knows the smell of bread baking will draw Chopper's keen nose down from the crow's nest, Sanji scratches a note onto the paper he uses for his grocery lists and pins it to the front of the stove with a magnet for the reindeer to find before he leaves to get a change of clothes.

The bread will bake all the same, whether he's around to watch it rise or not.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boyyy i've had the last couple of these sitting in my drafts for months!! //sweats Wanted to take the opportunity to thank you guys for reading and ESPECIALLY those of you guys that commented!! I'm rlly crying, i love that shit. Thanks so much for your support, I'm glad you guys like these!
> 
> If y'all want to shoot me some prompts, i have open arms and ears (but no promises bc i'm a damn mess)!
> 
> [my tumblr](http://bobtheacorn.tumblr.com) (hmu!!) [my ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/A8342UPQ) (♡)


	31. here he is again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /Sanji and Luffy (SOME CATHARSIS FOR THAT ANGST BC IM STILL NOT READY)

Sanji doesn't even have a word for what this feels like.

He's always known that Luffy would do anything for any of them.  Sanji has watched him do it enough to be familiar with the pattern; watched him chase after a friend who didn't really want to go, watched him push himself past his limits to make sure that they're safe, and happy, and FREE. Luffy drags the deepest desires out of you, the things you really want but are too afraid to ask for, too afraid to voice, kicking and screaming, as if the words you can't bring yourself to say mean the entire world to him.

Experiencing it for himself, Sanji understands how Nami and Robin must have felt.

It's overwhelming.

It hurts to be loved that much, to be trusted like that.

It hurts to be forgiven so easily when you've done so much wrong and it feels like everything is going to shit no matter what you do to try and stop it.

Sanji feels like he's drowning in every sense of the word, and Luffy is the one that pulls him back to the surface, with his strong hands and his big heart. Luffy grabs him by the shirt, and yells in his face, and it's so familiar that Sanji is reeling.  Here he is again trying to throw away everything he has, everything he's built, everything he's earned, everything he loves, because he thinks for some reason that it's the only choice he has.  Because he's a self-sacrificing bastard like that, because he thinks he doesn't deserve any of it.

Because he's scared, and he's scared of feeling like this for the rest of his life.

He's done nothing but weep for the past two days, anyway. He's done nothing but feel sad and sick and sorry since he left Chopper and the others back on Zou, done nothing but tremble with nerves and rage since returning to Germa. He feels weak, and pathetic, and all the other things they think he is. And all of those emotions finally spilled out like a floodgate after his fight with Luffy, after saying and doing all that awful shit he didn't mean.

So when Luffy demands, hurt and furious, _"Tell me how you really feel!!!"_ Sanji's weak resolve crumbles into a million unsalvageable pieces.

_He wants to go home._

He's sitting here bawling his eyes out because he wants to go _home._

He wants to save everyone. He doesn't want to get married to a girl that doesn't love him, or be here in this awful place, or sacrifice himself in the vain hope that it might save the others. He doesn't want to hurt his friends, doesn't want to hurt _Luffy_ , and he's already done that tenfold. He wants Zeff to be safe because he still feels guilty, damnit, he still owes that bastard so much for raising his sorry ass, and for giving a shit, and for _everything._

It's too much, and unrealistic, and stupid, and he can't do it by himself - He has tried and tried not to drag the others into this mess, and here they are anyway - and once he starts crying, once he starts blurting it all out, it's too hard to stop.

It doesn't help that Luffy's face goes slack in surprise. Surprised that his anger was too much for once, surprised that Sanji caved entirely. Then it shifts into a big grin, bloody and bruised, like it's the most nature thing for him to do, like it can fix _everything_.  Luffy kneels down in front of Sanji and drops his voice into something quiet and understanding and full of encouraging laughter.

_"It's okay."_

And,

_"We're here for you."_

Sanji doesn't know how it's possible to feel so relieved and so shitty all at once.  Luffy doesn't deserve to be treated like this, and Sanji knows he doesn't want a damn apology, but he still feels one choking his throat.

He's never cried so hard in his life.

Not when his mother died. Not when he ran away. Not when he thought that shitty old man was going to die on him, too. Not when he set out on this crazy adventure with a boy he barely knew and left everything he loved behind.

To hell with how cheesy it sounds.

Everything he loves is right in front of him now, and he too stupid to hold onto it.

Luffy is the one to reach out first, again, always. He puts a hand on Sanji's shoulder and dips his head to one side, says, "Sanji? You gonna be okay?" He's already at his lowest, so why the hell not.

Sanji grabs the tattered edges of Luffy's open shirt in both hands and yanks him closer.  Luffy makes a little _ooph_ of surprise when he falls into Sanji's lap, when Sanji's arms squeeze around him tightly and don't let him go, fingers digging go to his back. He catches on quick, drapes his arms around Sanji's shoulders and bumps their heads together.

"You wanna hug even though I'm not a girl?" Luffy asks excitedly, his knees squeezing around Sanji's hips, arms around his shoulders.

A watery laugh busts out of Sanji.

Luffy's hands pat out a rhythm against his back and then fall still, pressing down.  The weight of the world has been in those hands. Luffy carries it like it's nothing to him. He has turned the world on its side for them, and he would do it again, as many times as it takes, and Sanji feels like he doesn't deserve it - the simple way those hands squeeze into fists, and then open right away for a friend.

 


End file.
